Viola Davis Is Classically Beautiful Although It's Not Her Job to Be

I was very offended by the New York Times' article that insisted (among many other racist assertions) that Viola Davis isn't "classically beautiful." The author, a white female veteran journalist, said this along with calling Shonda Rhimes and the Black female protagonists she's created "angry Black women."

I think the root of my great offense came from the knowledge that beauty, or rather the need to be beautiful, is held over the heads of girls and women from birth.

But Black Women Have Always Been "My Brother's Keepers" so Who is "Keeping" the Sistas?

When I'm asked about how Black male sexism makes me feel I am forced to think carefully about an issue that I find both demoralizing and complex.

I was raised in a very pro-Black household. In this sense I was raised to love Blackness, which in practice always means loving (cis hetero) Black men although it doesn't always mean loving Black women. I was taught to love and respect Black women on condition. Is she educated? Is she childless or married? Is she demure? Is she with a Black man? 

So I was socialized to love and appreciate and act in consideration towards Black men quite frankly at the expense of myself. Whereas the fact is that Black men are absolutely not socialized to be the same way towards Black women.

I'm Not An Angry Black Woman But Should I Be?

Many people are concerned about anger within social justice circles. They want to limit and contain anger. Angry people are shamed as destroying the credibility of the movement. They are often told that if they were "nicer" they would be listened to.

However, I am concerned that I'm not angry enough.

The Paradox of Assertiveness for Black Women

Last summer, I attended a college women's leadership conference. Everyone was high on Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In and I listened to a keynote speaker who talked about how women are socialized to be meek and quiet in comparison to men.

And then after her speech was over she for some reason felt compelled to mention that Black women are the exception because our culture encourages us to be assertive and in charge.

The "assertive" and "angry" in control and independent Black woman is a myth. It was disappointing to hear a well-known (white) feminist act as if this stereotype is factual and uphold it in front of hundreds of people.

Black women deal with the paradox of assertiveness. In order to be respected as a human being we all need to assert ourselves. We need to let others know how we want to be treated and given the space to control the direction of our own lives. Because assertiveness is a derisive label plastered on Black womanhood it necessitates that Black women give up these basic human necessities in an attempt to avoid further mockery.