tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78009555100674013602024-03-21T06:02:31.251-07:00One Black Girl // Many WordsDanielle's collection of thoughts on race, gender, popular culture, and Black feminist criticism. <br>
Since January 24, 2014Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-63016292016561109672014-12-05T18:38:00.003-08:002014-12-05T18:44:47.644-08:00If You're Not About Justice I Want Nothing To Do With You <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HQ.71612174756&pid=15.1&P=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HQ.71612174756&pid=15.1&P=0" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
If you're not outraged about police brutality against Black Americans then I want nothing to do with you.<br />
<br />
Maybe that's blunt. But let me go further.<br />
<br />
If you're not in recognition that Black people--and Black people in particular-- are being targeted by law enforcement then I want nothing to do with you.<br />
<br />
If the word "thug" or "hoodlum" is in your vocabulary then I want nothing to do with you. If you believe there's ever a reason why lethal force needs to be used against an unarmed person then I want nothing to do with you. If you aren't about the chant "Black lives matter" then I want nothing to do with you.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://lintvwkbn.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/cleveland-tamir-rice-protests.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lintvwkbn.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/cleveland-tamir-rice-protests.jpg" height="357" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I have no time to coddle people. And I'm certainly not going to debate my right to life in the United States. It's sick and disgusting that many people think I am willing or even emotionally capable of debating whether people who look like me should or should not be shot down by cops.<br />
<br />
This is a civil rights issue. It's a human rights issue. And if you don't recognize that then I want nothing to do with you.<br />
<br />
Circa 2012 I dealt with folks who wanted to argue with me about if Trayvon Martin deserved to die, if he deserved to be stalked and subsequently murdered in his own neighborhood. But no more.<br />
<br />
We're not arguing over Mike Brown, Darrien Hunt, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Akai Gurley, Tanesha Anderson, Rumain Brisbon... I don't need to continue.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608055940856547926&pid=15.1&P=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=HN.608055940856547926&pid=15.1&P=0" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
It's a free country (at least for some of us). And a person has the right to be a racist. As I have the right to not deal with racists as an elective decision.<br />
<br />
As it is the United States has sent a strong message that I have no right to my life and liberty if I'm at the mercy of a cop seeking blood. And after my death, I have no right to justice.<br />
<br />
I charge genocide. And if you don't then I want nothing to do with you.<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-17374134486788927562014-11-03T18:10:00.000-08:002014-11-04T04:57:42.153-08:00The Hollaback Video is Racist, But That Doesn't Mean Street Harassment Isn't an Issue<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static6.businessinsider.com/image/545116ceeab8ead57f47b102-480/street-harassment-hollaback-video-rob-bliss.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://static6.businessinsider.com/image/545116ceeab8ead57f47b102-480/street-harassment-hollaback-video-rob-bliss.png" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I've noticed a trend: white women use white feminism to let white men off the hook for their sexism and Black men use white feminism (or the excuse: well what white women did was racist!) to let themselves off the hook for their sexism.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
In either case, when I as a Black woman was walking home last week a guy followed me for about two (long South London) blocks. He not only acted like he had a right to be in my personal space but he acted like he had more of a right to my time than I did.<br />
<br />
After opening with my name because he saw my student ID in my bag (so not creepy!) he questioned me about where I was going (definitely not creepy!) and proclaimed himself to be single. I had no choice but to say that I'm taken even though I strongly resent the idea that another man needs to theoretically own me in order for me to have the right to rebuff another man's advances.<br />
<br />
In the end, I had to quickly j-walk across the street just so he would stop following me. I purposely walked the wrong way for a good five minutes, careful to stay in a heavily populated area, until the guy disappeared just because I knew I didn't want him to have any idea of where I live.<br />
<br />
That's street harassment. And unlike what you'll see in the recently uploaded video by Hollaback that shows a white woman walking for 10 hours through NYC only being harassed by Latino and Black men this guy who harassed me was white. (It already says a lot that they use AAVE to signify responding to street harassment in the very name of their organization).<br />
<br />
But street harassers don't have a race because two days later a Black man approached me saying "Hey are you lonely? Need some company?" as I quickly tried to walk away. I was just walking to get groceries.<br />
<br />
I'm all for pointing out that the "<a href="http://sex-and-race.livejournal.com/374708.html">myth of the Black rapist</a>" (s/o to Angela Davis) needs to die. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that groups such as Hollaback are less about ending male privilege and more about upholding white supremacy. Because if you need to make white males invisible in your so-called anti-sexist critiques how are you really fighting patriarchy?<br />
<br />
But what I'm not willing to do - what I cannot do as a self-respecting Black woman - is act like the opposite is true and Black men don't do street harassment any at all. Or furthermore, I'm not willing to pretend that street harassment isn't a vital issue for Black women.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnFzJ4eu3y8XnA3GPEvvgrcR4jifDoSWUXrESUfSfhynYcYHLikw" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnFzJ4eu3y8XnA3GPEvvgrcR4jifDoSWUXrESUfSfhynYcYHLikw" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It's convenient to use this video to silence talks of street harassment within the Black community. The same Black men who will argue that Black feminists care too much about what white women are doing will then take any racist thing white women do and use it to justify why any critique of patriarchy is inherently anti-Black and white supremacist.<br />
<br />
This argument is so disrespectful and debilitating towards Black women because although street harassers have no particular race (unless you count men as a race), street harassment is far more severe for women of color.<br />
<br />
I guarantee, if the star of the video had been a woman of color - particularly a Black woman - the comments heard would have been even worse! There probably would have been sexual propositions, more blatant stalking, and more degrading language.<br />
<br />
Historically, we also can't ignore that Black men have been murdered for even looking at a white woman. Let's start with Emmett Till (1955) but Alfred Wright was brutally murdered in 2013 for being married to a white woman.<br />
<br />
This cultural reality makes it so that white women remain "protected" from the full brunt of male entitlement. At least in relation to men of color. This no doubt carries to street harassment. When you're a woman of color the "hey beautiful's" and "how you doing's" caught on the Hollaback video can and will quickly turn to "you're an ugly bitch anyway" and maybe even lead to a threat of physical harm. <a href="http://nypost.com/2014/10/08/womans-throat-slashed-after-rejecting-mans-advances/">Recently, a Black woman's throat was slit by a man who she rejected after he had approached her on the street. </a><br />
<br />
Black women are often put in the tricky, sandwiched position of having to call out white women's racism both because they'll be viewed sideways by Black men if they don't and because white women's racism impacts all Black people irregardless of gender. But also Black women have to then reconstruct everything done through the white gaze to bring attention to "Hey this topic does matter! And it actually really impacts Black women!"<br />
<br />
So by all means call out the racism of Hollaback but don't do it at the expense of Black women - who believe it or not - are very real victims of street harassment.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-6833053631562184601" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; position: relative; width: 666px;">
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-943579776837223852" itemprop="description articleBody" style="line-height: 22.3999996185303px; position: relative; width: 666px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Enter your email address here:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br /></div>
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c7d17; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></div>
</form>
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-17147341861475929972014-09-30T02:36:00.001-07:002014-09-30T02:41:14.156-07:00Viola Davis Is Classically Beautiful Although It's Not Her Job to Be <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://cmgajcradiotvtalk.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/how-to-get-away-with-murder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://cmgajcradiotvtalk.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/how-to-get-away-with-murder.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
I was very offended by the New York Times' article that insisted (among many other racist assertions) that Viola Davis isn't "classically beautiful." The author, a white female veteran journalist, said this along with calling Shonda Rhimes and the Black female protagonists she's created "angry Black women."<br />
<br />
I think the root of my great offense came from the knowledge that beauty, or rather the need to be beautiful, is held over the heads of girls and women from birth.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
There is no greater insult than being called ugly. Mostly because for women being ugly is simultaneous with being less worthy. Less worthy of affection and love. It comes with the absence of being desired. And patriarchy dictates that a woman's role is to be desired, to be gazed upon. Her value comes from the (approving) gaze of others.<br />
<br />
Now of course this is incredibly problematic. A woman's value should not at all be dependent on the gaze and view of others. Particularly because beauty is inextricably connected with skin colour, race, age, ability, sexuality, and other intersections of identity.<br />
<br />
So I suppose I dislike two things: (1) that the need to be "classically beautiful" is held over the heads of women due to patriarchy and (2) that dark skinned women such as Viola Davis are automatically cast outside of "classic beauty" because of white supremacist standards.<br />
<br />
It shouldn't be my or any woman's job to be classically beautiful. And yet, classic beauty shouldn't be denied of any woman.<br />
<br />
Attacking a woman's looks still has the cultural power to deny her worth and value. The New York Times' wasn't simply attacking Viola's physical appearance. It was attacking her right to have a leading role in what is set to be a popular and successful show. It gave the connotation of: "Why her?"<br />
<br />
Asking "why her?" in the veiled language of attacking her beauty and resorting to the trite stereotype of the "angry Black woman" is symbolic racist violence. Asking "why her?" marginalizes dark skinned Black women and puts us on the defensive for why we deserve success, for why we deserve the limelight.<br />
<br />
Why NOT Viola Davis? And why, in light of her incredible acting ability, is this only her first major role in a TV series? Why wasn't she cast into an incredible acting career a long time ago?<br />
<br />
It's not because she's not "classically beautiful." It's because authors such as the white woman who wrote this demeaning and racist New York Times article subscribe to internalized misogyny and white supremacy.<br />
<br />
That's why.<br />
<br />
P.S. I watched the pilot for "How To Get Away with Murder" and it was incredible. So thank you Shonda Rhimes and Viola Davis for another hit.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="post-footer" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.6; margin: 1.5em 0px 0px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-6833053631562184601" itemprop="description articleBody" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; orphans: auto; position: relative; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; width: 666px; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-943579776837223852" itemprop="description articleBody" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; orphans: auto; position: relative; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; width: 666px; word-spacing: 0px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c7d17; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<div style="clear: both;">
</div>
</div>
<div style="clear: both;">
</div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-68330536315621846012014-08-26T07:14:00.002-07:002014-08-26T07:14:56.539-07:00"He Was No Angel": There is No Such Thing as Black Innocence <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/bd0dff5222c8b6c969de030019c685c2/tumblr_navt3mFcLr1s5h4bpo8_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/bd0dff5222c8b6c969de030019c685c2/tumblr_navt3mFcLr1s5h4bpo8_500.jpg" height="240" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
There is absolutely no regard for Black life. I say that without further qualification.<br />
<br />
I continue to be astounded by the way Mike Brown's death has been disrespected. He is continually victim blamed for his own death despite the overwhelming amount of evidence (both testimonial and biological in the form of an autopsy) proving that he was executed by a Ferguson PD cop.<br />
<br />
And yet, people continue to suggest that the true victim is the murderer. The continual narrative is that Mike Brown somehow deserved to be executed.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
I was utterly disgusted by the New York Times' piece about Mike Brown where the author clearly intended to paint him as a boy who was deserving to be murdered.<br />
<br />
The New York Times mentioned various things about him meant to defame him. It sounded as if the author was desperate to assassinate his character. They mentioned that he used pot (the most commonly used recreational drug). They mentioned that he was a handful as a child (aren't most kids?). That he didn't have the best grades (most kids don't have stellar GPAs!). All of these pejorative comments were summed up by the phrase that he "was no angel."<br />
<br />
So a Black boy needs to be an angel in order to not be deserving of death? Is this the conclusion of the New York Times article?<br />
<br />
This relates to the ludicrous nature of respectability politics.<br />
<br />
In a way, respectability politics doesn't really exist. I say that in the sense that it isn't possible for a Black person to ever be worthy and valuable within a white supremacist context. This is abundantly true if an apparently reputable publication is using facts that are true of many American teenagers to paint Mike Brown as somebody deserving of being executed.<br />
<br />
In fact, things are so dire that a white person's dog is given more value than a Black person. And I say that without hyperbole when we consider that a police officer was fired for shooting a middle class white person's dog but put on paid leave for murdering a Black child.<br />
<br />
But even the New York Times article stepped around its true conclusion. It isn't that Mike Brown deserved to die because he wasn't perfect. He didn't deserve to die because he got into "at least one scuffle" or because he had tried marijuana or because he wasn't constantly on the honor roll. He deserved to die because he's Black. According to white supremacist discourse every Black person deserves to die.<br />
<br />
Fundamentally, the idea that being respectable will save you is dangled over Black people's head. But it's a false promise. Respectability politics is an ideology that Black people use to police ourselves -- to limit ourselves. And to what gain?<br />
<br />
There is no such thing as being a respectable Black person outside of the Black community. Everything that makes us respectable in our own eyes is dismissed in the larger world.<br />
<br />
To be Black is to be un-respectable.<br />
<br />
At the end of the day if our humanity can be parsed by not getting good grades or experimenting with drugs then we were never accorded humanity to begin with.<br />
<br />
Mike Brown is blamed for his own murder not because it's at all possible for his murder to be his own fault. But because culturally there is no blame to be laid anywhere when a Black person is murdered. And certainly there is no blame to be laid on a white police officer.<br />
<br />
People are judged right or wrong not according to facts but identity. A low income Black boy could never be "right" when judged against a white police officer no matter the circumstances.<br />
<br />
No, Mike Brown wasn't an angel as none of us are. But he was a human being that had the right to life just like anyone else. He did not deserve to be executed while on his knees with his hands raised in surrender.<br />
<br />
And it's beyond troubling that not all of America is on the same page. What does this say about the perception of Black people? What does this say about how much has not changed throughout American history if we are dealing with this reality in 2014?<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="post-footer" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 1.6; margin: 1.5em 0px 0px; orphans: auto; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-943579776837223852" itemprop="description articleBody" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; orphans: auto; position: relative; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; width: 666px; word-spacing: 0px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />Enter your email address here:<br /><input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br /><input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c7d17; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<div style="clear: both;">
</div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-26868862361480571122014-08-14T07:19:00.000-07:002014-08-14T07:19:38.987-07:00Solidarity with Ferguson, Missouri Protesters! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/815ff2e87ae1e17c60b4d0ff9941781b/tumblr_na7olrDMzq1qdl2sco5_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/815ff2e87ae1e17c60b4d0ff9941781b/tumblr_na7olrDMzq1qdl2sco5_500.jpg" height="241" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
We all need to be paying careful attention to Ferguson, Missouri. This is where the revolution is beginning.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Many Black folks have been wondering: when are we going to get angry about the amount of Black lives lost due to police brutality and white vigilantes?<br />
<br />
People were waiting for the anger and real action to begin in Florida or New York City or Los Angeles: all places where police brutality to the point of murder is a regular and well known occurrence for Black folks.<br />
<br />
But the revolution is happening right now in Ferguson, Missouri. This is a city nobody outside of the local area even knew to look and wait for. And yet, they are fighting a fight that has implications reaching far beyond their town. It is a fight on behalf of Black Americans from all over.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://colorlines.com/assets_c/2014/08/08122014_FergusonCruiserVid-thumb-640xauto-11316.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://colorlines.com/assets_c/2014/08/08122014_FergusonCruiserVid-thumb-640xauto-11316.jpg" height="215" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
These citizens are courageously standing up for their right to not be terrorized by their police force. This is a primarily Black community that has been terrorized for decades by their majority white police force. They have long been facing injustices perhaps exceeding that committed by the NYPD and LAPD but have not gotten any national media attention because of the relative lack of knowledge about their city.<br />
<br />
But they are saying enough is enough with the recent murder of eighteen year old Mike Brown and now the entire of America is poised to listen.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/49a6d45135cab4f61b272f94408b829e/tumblr_na7olrDMzq1qdl2sco1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://31.media.tumblr.com/49a6d45135cab4f61b272f94408b829e/tumblr_na7olrDMzq1qdl2sco1_500.jpg" height="179" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(Parents of Mike Brown)</div>
<br />
There is a plethora of misinformation circulating about the death of Mike Brown. But it is clear that foul play was involved on the part of the officer who murdered him. His friend and first-hand eyewitness to the murder reports that they were both running from the cop after being unduly harassed on their way home when Mike was shot at. Mike stopped and raised his hands saying "don't shoot me" but he was repeatedly shot. Ten times in total. It was nothing short of an execution.<br />
<br />
Although the Ferguson police is attempting to cover up this murder first by falsely accusing that Mike Brown stole candy from a corner store (which the store denied) and then arguing that there was a scuffle for a weapon (unlikely) the people of Ferguson know that this was merely the most recent act of violence and fascism that Ferguson police has committed against the Black members of their community.<br />
<br />
Now the community is demanding justice. In response the Ferguson police is hiding the identity of the murderer and has transformed this community into a war zone. So far information has surfaced about a Howard alumna who was peacefully protesting when she was shot in the head by police. The police tried to cover up this attempted murder by saying she was the victim of a drive by (no doubt trying to deflect by blaming "Black on Black" crime). Warfare guerrilla tactics are being waged against the people and we can't stand by and leave them without support.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://37.media.tumblr.com/2ac47ae3946c0caa5269314468180b03/tumblr_na7olrDMzq1qdl2sco4_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://37.media.tumblr.com/2ac47ae3946c0caa5269314468180b03/tumblr_na7olrDMzq1qdl2sco4_500.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(Ferguson, MO. NOT the Middle East.)</div>
<br />
I implore all of my readers to seek reliable information about what is currently happening in Ferguson, Missouri. Media outlets are being actively banned from reporting what is occurring so the rest of America is largely dependent on social media to know what injustices those in Ferguson are facing.<br />
<br />
I am standing in solidarity with Ferguson, MO from California and I hope you will too!<br />
<br />
Stay aware!<br />
<br />
Justice for Mike Brown (MO) and Ezell Ford (CA) and Eric Garner (NY) and Renisha McBride (MI).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-15628430025361407532014-08-05T08:41:00.000-07:002014-08-05T11:03:38.321-07:00My Best Friend is White: On the Joys and Perils of Interracial Friendship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://chuckieb123.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/white-and-black-preschool-girls11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://chuckieb123.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/white-and-black-preschool-girls11.jpg" height="199" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
One of my best friends is white. We met in fourth grade and have remained generally present in each other's lives ever since. It's going on thirteen years of friendship. And yet, it wasn't until last night that we had our first real conversation about race.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
It's not that it never came up. But it was always delicately handled by both of us. I'd make a quip about a micro-aggression I experienced or comment on something happening in the news and she'd agree it was bad and we'd leave it at that. We'd go to Black movies and tiptoe around it. We'd go to white movies and ignore it. She'd talk about the white guys she was seeing and I'd talk about the Black guys I was seeing and we'd ignore it.<br />
<br />
Race has been the elephant in the room for years.<br />
<br />
On my end we didn't talk about race because I knew she wouldn't understand and I wanted to preserve the fragile egg shell we were walking on. I figured she wouldn't understand or respect my experiences and so I tried to downplay them. I'd mention something every once in awhile hoping and waiting for some magical moment of recognition. The moment she'd just get it! She'd get the concept of white privilege! She'd understand the unique situations Black Americans are in! She'd understand my frustration. And we'd suddenly have a new-found layer of understanding between us. But that moment never came.<br />
<br />
I never watched <i>Django </i>because I was annoyed by what I felt was a Hollywood dramatization of slavery. A feel good movie for whites who would enjoy seeing a Black man kill racists with impunity (as if slavery regularly allowed for moral retribution). But my friend went to see it. I felt like she felt that she was bridging the gap we both knew existed by seeing the movie. She talked about how it was so horrible to watch and how she couldn't make it to the end. She had to walk out. She told me she "hated being white" for weeks.<br />
<br />
I didn't know what to say. White guilt isn't anything that can turn into a purposeful conversation. So I nodded as if her "hating being white" was an acceptable peace treaty and let it go. And then vented to my Black friends about it later.<br />
<br />
But the lowest moment was when I refused to contact her for months. It was after Trayvon Martin was murdered. For me this was a trying time. I was heartbroken. My heartbreak was compounded by the knowledge that it occurred because he was a young Black male. I was a staff writer for my college newspaper and I ended up writing a very intense call to action about the murder. I felt so angry but simultaneously passionate.<br />
<br />
Since I was writing for a majority white audience my newspaper article was the significantly toned down version of me. I said things like "we all need to stop stereotyping each other" as if it was just as likely for a Black adult to shoot down a white teenager as vice versa. I gave a copy of the article to my friend and asked her to read it. I thought to myself: this is the moment! This is when we'll finally talk about race and understand each other! This tragedy will bring us closer together!<br />
<br />
But her response was cold and callous. She told me the media was making it about race. He died because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and it was wrong and it was murder. But it wasn't racism. Why was I making it about race?<br />
<br />
This is why when white people say "my best friend is Black" it means nothing. What they mean is that there's a Black person who they occasionally go out with and joke around with. They may have been roommates with a Black person. They could have even grown up with a Black person. But that doesn't mean that they understand racism or white privilege. Or even want to.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile that same "Black friend" has consistently dealt with micro-aggressions and a lack of empathy and understanding from that same white friend who believes there's no problems.<br />
<br />
For me Trayvon Martin was a crossroads. I didn't understand how we could have been friends for so long and she not understand such a fundamental aspect of my existence. I didn't get why she didn't get that Black people's lives are continually in danger due to racism. All over the country. I didn't understand how white privilege could be so blinding. It got to the point where I felt she was purposely being an un-supportive friend and for awhile I had to cut ties.<br />
<br />
Genuine friendships between white and Black people are so difficult. They require an openness that doesn't necessarily need to exist within friends of the same race. It requires a modicum of trust that isn't necessary in intra-racial friendships because the white friend will have to believe in experiences that they've never personally had.<br />
<br />
And if the white person doesn't enter the friendship as an anti-racist there will never be a magic, calm moment where racial understanding occurs. There will never be a single event that will open a white person's eyes to racism. It won't be an intellectual experience. They won't learn from a sociology class or by you linking them to news articles.<br />
<br />
This understanding will come from fire. It will be angry and uncomfortable. It will be indignant and messy. It might end the friendship but it also might make it stronger. But if this moment never occurs a person of color can never have a truly two-way relationship rid of micro-aggressions.<br />
<br />
Realizing the extent of white privilege is not a comfortable and warm experience for a white person. But until they have that realization a friendship can never be comfortable or warm for a person of color.<br />
<br />
My white friend and I had a real conversation last night. All spurred by the new James Brown biopic. We normally pretend to ignore race when we see Black movies together but something was different about last night. I made an off-handed remark about how so much of what James Brown experienced fifty years ago still holds true today and before I knew it we were both angry and shouting.<br />
<br />
She finally said how she really felt:<br />
<br />
"Why do you talk about race so much?" It was amazing to me that she felt like that because I had always bit my tongue and talked about race in a far more benign way than I did with my Black friends and my family.<br />
<br />
"Why do you act like you've had such a hard life? You just graduated from college! I was there!" My educational privilege doesn't negate the anti-Blackness I've faced. Hell, the anti-Blackness I faced on my journey to getting that degree!<br />
<br />
"Racism was so much worse back in the day. Racism doesn't impact your opportunities. You've had the same opportunities as me." I've had the same outcome. But on the basis of race alone not the same opportunities.<br />
<br />
And then we got to the real crux of the issue: "I feel like you think I'm some racist person and I'm not! I might be ignorant about some things but I'm not racist! You act like I've had a perfect life because I'm white and I haven't!"<br />
<br />
My anger dissolved.<br />
<br />
Friendship is accountability. But friendship is also grace and forgiveness.<br />
<br />
This was it. This was the moment we had been subconsciously waiting for all these years. We had substituted this transparency about race all these years with other things. She had substituted it with white guilt and the occasional self-aggrandizing comment about whites. I had substituted it with pretending to ignore micro-aggressions and biting my tongue.<br />
<br />
But here we were in our natural state. I was Black and angry about white supremacy and her participation in it. She was white and angry about the realization that I refuse to pretend like we're the same and a misunderstanding of what racism is.<br />
<br />
It was our breakthrough.<br />
<br />
We talked it out. I felt like the workshop leader of one of those anti-racism seminars I would sit in during college. I said that white privilege doesn't mean every white person has a perfect life. It doesn't negate other types of oppression. I told her that white privilege is hard to see and so it's normal for a white person to be ignorant about a lot of things.<br />
<br />
Is my friend racist? In a sense. But most white people are. Analogously, most Black people have internalized racism. It doesn't necessarily make everybody a bad person. It just makes them a product of a white supremacist culture. The idea is to not end there but to take it as an impetus to learn more and do better.<br />
<br />
I could have said all of this stuff before last night. But honestly, it would not have made a difference had it not been coupled with anger, confusion, and disillusionment. It is those raw emotions that put both people in the place to be totally honest and open.<br />
<br />
I'm glad that last night happened. I'm glad that after all these years we were finally able to honestly discuss race. I'm glad that we trusted and loved each other enough to put our all into the conversation. I'm glad she trusted me not to shame her for what she didn't know. And I'm glad she trusted me enough to accept my experiences as a Black American.<br />
<br />
Our friendship has taught me so much about race-relations. It's taught me a lot about myself. It's taught me to never grow disillusioned by racism. To never fully retreat into my own world where I refuse to believe in the transformative power of talking things through.<br />
<br />
Because I'm a blogger and a former staff writer occasionally I'll get messages online and in person from white people (of all ages and backgrounds) who thank me for educating them about race. Even though there's not a single piece I've ever written with that as a primary goal. I realize that it's not that I specifically educated them about race. It's that they were open to learning about white privilege and stumbling across my writing served as a kind of tangible jump-start towards that goal.<br />
<br />
But I actually spoke with the intention to educate last night. Something I would not have done if she wasn't my best friend. There's only a few white people I consider as friends and they're all solidly educated about anti-racism. While I'm sure I'm claimed by a lot of white people as their "Black friend" even if we've only shared only one or two sentences those aren't two-way relationships.<br />
<br />
I don't have the energy or the particular inclination to teach people to respect my experiences and life. But I met my best friend at such a tender age. And I've loved her ever since in spite of our differences. And I'm glad that I could expend the energy to have the talk we did last night.<br />
<br />
In the end she apologized. She apologized for not respecting my experiences and not taking it upon herself to learn about white privilege and about race. Not only that but she promised to actively do better. She said "give me some time but I'm going to do better!"<br />
<br />
That's all I've ever wanted to hear.<br />
<br />
We ended our conversation with a long hug. I told her: "You're going to be my best friend forever. No matter what."<br />
<br />
And I mean it.<br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; text-align: justify;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: #f5fcfb; color: #333333; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; text-align: justify;"></span>
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-16758047796610928002014-07-25T13:24:00.002-07:002014-07-25T13:33:30.665-07:00Book Recommendations for Black Women! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.essence.com/sites/default/files/images/2012/04/26/black-woman-reading-240x340.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.essence.com/sites/default/files/images/2012/04/26/black-woman-reading-240x340.jpg" height="320" width="225" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Hello Readers!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I'd like to share with you some of my favorite books that I own. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">They cover broad genres such as historical or sociological scholarship, romantic fiction, classic literature, Black feminist theory, non-fiction and they're American and non-American. But what they all have in common is that they are by and about Black women. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Leave a comment below if you've read any of these and enjoyed them! Or leave your own book recommendations!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">- Danielle</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0TIOquqZjlEUs_LY4BJt6AsBJJhloqimdk6wuhtHTQUQ_EQ2mo2dkdfkWslqXfpUHxz5zY8PYd3kZtJPHdcP-_IDWAdyvbYhNMfQanBiqgIS9rjt5-ve8BMfT10Bt1O1HWZ-fijoQVA/s1600/IMG_20140724_144619.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0TIOquqZjlEUs_LY4BJt6AsBJJhloqimdk6wuhtHTQUQ_EQ2mo2dkdfkWslqXfpUHxz5zY8PYd3kZtJPHdcP-_IDWAdyvbYhNMfQanBiqgIS9rjt5-ve8BMfT10Bt1O1HWZ-fijoQVA/s1600/IMG_20140724_144619.jpg" height="289" width="640" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="margin-top: 0.6em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">From Left to Right:</span></div>
<div style="margin-top: 0.6em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="margin-top: 0px;"><a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/485828.Reconstructing_Womanhood?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Reconstructing Womanhood: The Emergence of the Afro-American Woman Novelist</a>, </span><a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/157929.The_Salt_Eaters?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; transition: color 0.5s linear;"><span style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">The Salt Eaters</span> </a><a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/485828.Reconstructing_Womanhood?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; transition: color 0.5s linear;">,</a> <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32951.Sister_Outsider?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/205369.Black_Sexual_Politics?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Black Sexual Politics: African Americans, Gender, and the New Racism</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/347334.Wild_Sweet_Love?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Wild Sweet Love</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/291245.Too_Heavy_a_Load?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Too Heavy a Load: Black Women in Defense of Themselves, 1894-1994</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/731011.To_Joy_My_Freedom?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">To ‘Joy My Freedom: Southern Black Women’s Lives and Labors after the Civil War</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1297586.Black_Women_Novelists_and_the_Nationalist_Aesthetic?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Black Women Novelists and the Nationalist Aesthetic</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/152519.Incidents_in_the_Life_of_a_Slave_Girl?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/37415.Their_Eyes_Were_Watching_God?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Their Eyes Were Watching God</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/5198.Paradise?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Paradise (Toni Morrison Trilogy, #3)</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15796700-americanah?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Americanah</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/182086.Iola_Leroy?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Iola Leroy: Shadows Uplifted</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51377.Sisters_of_the_Yam?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Sisters of the Yam: Black Women and Self-Recovery</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11337.The_Bluest_Eye?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">The Bluest Eye</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8494282-at-the-dark-end-of-the-street?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">At the Dark End of the Street: Black Women, Rape, and Resistance—A New History of the Civil Rights Movement from Rosa Parks to the Rise of Black Power</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11346.Sula?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Sula</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/726657.A_Voice_from_the_South?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">A Voice from the South (Schomburg Library of 19th Century Black Women Writers)</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/178702.More_Than_Chattel?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">More Than Chattel: Black Women and Slavery in the Americas</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/850104.Scenes_of_Subjection?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Scenes of Subjection: Terror, Slavery, and Self-Making in Nineteenth-Century America</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/250792.Ain_t_I_a_Woman?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism</a>, <span style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/353598.Black_Feminist_Thought?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment, </a></span><a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/157928.The_Black_Woman?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">The Black Woman: An Anthology</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/419272.When_and_Where_I_Enter?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">When and Where I Enter: The Impact of Black Women on Race and Sex in America</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2608300-beautiful-also-are-the-souls-of-my-black-sisters?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Beautiful, Also, Are the Souls of My Black Sisters: A History of the Black Woman in America</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/229445.Killing_the_Black_Body?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;">Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty</a>, <a class="bookTitle" href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/51378.Feminist_Theory?from_search=true" style="-webkit-transition: color 0.5s linear; margin-bottom: 0px; transition: color 0.5s linear;"><span style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Feminist Theory: From Margin to Centre</span> </a></span></div>
<div style="margin-top: 0.6em; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(all links go to Goodreads) </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />Enter your email address here:<br /><input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br /><input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; text-align: start;" /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-30643346338916821282014-07-24T12:11:00.000-07:002014-07-25T13:40:34.419-07:00Why This Black Feminist Will Always Be Concerned About Black Male Issues<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://thegrio.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/arrest-struggle-death_wils-3.jpg?w=560" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://thegrio.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/arrest-struggle-death_wils-3.jpg?w=560" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(March for Eric Garner in NYC)</div>
<br />
Many Black women are deeply hurt by anti-Black misogyny. Although anti-Black misogyny comes from everywhere it seems to be a particular betrayal when it comes from Black men.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Social media and the internet in general has increased the visibility of Black men's sexism. There's always a new Twitter screen-cap saying something very hurtful about Black women. There's always a new article.<br />
<br />
And then Black women turn on the radio and hear these same messages reflected in music performed by Black men. They walk outside and see the same messages reinforced in Black men they meet.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/34f1ZNcian8/hqdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://i.ytimg.com/vi/34f1ZNcian8/hqdefault.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
It's hard to imagine how one might <i>not </i>become bitter or start to view all Black men as inherently anti-Black women.<br />
<br />
And yet, I find the position of viewing Black men as being collectively against Black women and calling it Black feminism as extremely dangerous. And furthermore I find it counter-productive.<br />
<br />
But that is the new wave I am noticing within Black feminist activism. I see Black feminists co-opting liberal white feminism and putting Black-face on it.<br />
<br />
It's not about rectifying the wrongs of Black patriarchy in a progressive and helpful way. Now everything is sullied by a deep disillusionment and resentment. And there's almost a push for gender separatism or to view Black men as nothing but an enemy.<br />
<br />
To me it risks repeating history but in the reverse. Post-Moynihan Report there were many Black men who subscribed to the idea that Black women were the enemy. It wasn't white supremacy. It wasn't capitalism. It wasn't the American government. It was Black women. This is what a white man told them and what many of them believed. We're talking late 1960s and early 1970s.<br />
<br />
This was a grand departure from the Civil Rights era. Although patriarchy was firmly cemented in the structure of the Civil Rights movement Black men did not view Black women as an enemy. In fact, a continuous message given by Black male Civil Rights leaders was to respect and protect Black women. Look no further than Malcolm X.<br />
<br />
But within only a decade the mood had greatly changed. This is understandable because of the amount of loss the Black community was facing during this time. So many of the major Black leaders of the era were assassinated. The promises of the Civil Rights Act weren't being followed through.<br />
<br />
So disillusionment and resentment got in the way of logic. And Black men -- feeling unequal to the task of fighting the real cause of their oppression because it felt firmly out of their control -- decided to blame Black women and a mythical "matriarchy" instead.<br />
<br />
Some people might argue that I can't compare the Moynihan induced Black male scapegoating of Black women to what is happening in the Black feminist movement presently. They might say that the current fed up-ness with Black men is a result of what has occurred in the past and what is still occurring. They might say that anti-Black misogyny has created this situation.<br />
<br />
I wouldn't say that they're wrong. It is true that the current mood in Black feminism is influenced by the seeming pervasiveness of Black male sexism. It's obvious to me <i>why </i>this is happening but that doesn't make it right. That doesn't make it a Black feminist response.<br />
<br />
I've never viewed Black feminism as a tit for tat movement. It has never been about selfishness. It has never been about "I got mine. You go get yours." Never. It's a movement for social justice. This is what is supposed to separate it from social movements that have ignored race, gender, sexuality or social class. Black feminism is supposed to be better than that.<br />
<br />
And we can't be better if we take individual acts of Black male sexism and indict the entire Black male demographic. We can't be better if we stop seeing the importance of working across gender lines in the Black community.<br />
<br />
I don't think that can be called Black feminism.<br />
<br />
I've always been down to defend Black feminism against misogynists who didn't like it because they felt tearing down patriarchy was an affront to Black manhood. I've always defended Black feminism against those who say that if a man doesn't rule then it isn't right.<br />
<br />
I've never been against calling out an individual Black male misogynist or bringing attention to unique Black women's issues.<br />
<br />
But how can I defend Black feminism if it's saying I no longer care about Black male victims of white supremacy?<br />
<br />
I can't and I won't.<br />
<br />
I had a moment where I wondered if I was becoming a "softer" Black feminist but then I realized that I haven't gotten softer. Other people have gone out of bounds and have started to replicate oppressive ways of thinking apparent in Black male led movements.<br />
<br />
The argument I hear is: "They don't care about us. So why should we care about them?"<br />
<br />
Who is "they" and who is "us"?<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, not all Black women have the back of every other Black woman.<br />
<br />
We have our own issues in terms of colorism, class, sexuality, and other interlocking forms of oppression. Yes, we have some things in common as Black women. And then there are things we don't have in common.<br />
<br />
Not admitting this puts us in the same boat as Black male leaders who claim that <a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/06/were-all-black-is-not-end-of.html">"we're all Black"</a> and use that as an excuse to only focus on heterosexual middle class Black males.<br />
<br />
It's also true that not all Black men are insensitive to Black women's issues. It's hard to imagine how they could be when our fate is so inextricably tied to theirs.<br />
<br />
Most of the time I see an individual Black male misogynist they also don't have any understanding of white supremacy. One moment they're making "strong independent Black woman who don't need no man" memes on Twitter and the next they're poking fun of themselves with <a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/07/the-daquan-meme-should-it-be-funny.html">Daquan memes</a>.<br />
<br />
How are these Black men who have never a day in their life considered themselves to be activists of any kind the justification for the reactionary nature I'm seeing in Black feminism?<br />
<br />
Black feminism is a social activist movement and as such it should fully understand and grapple with the reality of kyriarchy in a responsible manner.<br />
<br />
A part of me wonders if the people who say Black men never support Black women are accustomed to offline activist work.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.usprisonculture.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/defend-black-womanhood-7141975-210x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.usprisonculture.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/defend-black-womanhood-7141975-210x300.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Even in my own tiny world I've never been to or hosted an event focusing on Black women where no Black men were present. I've even held educational workshops on Black feminism where half of the audience is made up of Black men. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had Black men approach me asking for Black feminist reading recommendations. It's always been harder for me to get white feminists to support Black feminist events than Black men.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/31/06/45/6580595/3/622x350.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/31/06/45/6580595/3/622x350.jpg" height="217" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(Jada being represented by the Houston Chapter of the New Black Panther Party)</div>
<br />
When it comes down to it I'm not a white feminist. I don't see any point in even hyperbolically saying "kill all men" when Black boys and men are already being routinely murdered. Both by state-sanctioned violence and because of circumstances created by poverty and white supremacy working together.<br />
<br />
I can't pretend like all Black men are the enemy when Black men are in my family. When there's so many instances where I've been listened to and cared for by Black men. My personal circumstances disallow it. But also my understanding of white supremacy disallows it. All Black people are targets. The ways we are targeted differ by gender and other factors. But when any Black person is a victim of white supremacy it impacts me.<br />
<br />
I will always support combating anti-Black misogyny. But my knowledge of anti-Black misogyny will never lead me to turn against Black male victims of violence. It won't make me resent Black men as a collective group.<br />
<br />
It's bad politics. But it's also bad ethics. And one thing I've always admired about Black feminism is the way in which it is above so many other social movements because this is supposed to be the first one to be truly concerned with exacting justice in its totality.<br />
<br />
Over a hundred years ago Black feminist Anna Julia Cooper said: "When and where I enter, in the quiet, undisputed dignity of my womanhood, without violence and without suing or special patronage, then and there the whole Negro race enters with me."<br />
<br />
That is <i>my </i>Black feminism. I don't recognize the other stuff.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
If you enjoyed this post check out "<a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/04/but-black-women-have-always-been-my.html" style="font-family: inherit; text-decoration: none;">But Black Women Have Always Been "My Brother's Keepers" so Who is "Keeping" the Sistas?</a>" which talks about the importance of holding Black men accountable for supporting Black women's issues. This is always an equally important conversation to talking about continuing support for Black men.<br />
<br />
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;" />
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;" />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-48197393881744288052014-07-23T16:38:00.003-07:002014-07-23T22:52:46.638-07:00For Women: The False Seduction of Giving up Power<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://heartsfile.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Quote_MayaAngelou_Phenomenal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://heartsfile.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Quote_MayaAngelou_Phenomenal.jpg" height="137" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
The seduction of giving up one's power is always strong for a woman. I've been reading Maya Angelou's fourth autobiographical text <i>The Heart of a Woman</i>.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
A particularly fascinating part is when she meets a South African freedom fighter by the name of Vusumzi Make. Ms. Angelou is swept up into a passionate romance and within a week decides to leave her current fiance and travel to England with Make.<br />
<br />
She is thrilled by the idea of financial and physical protection. Also by the idea of traveling and exploring the world. However, she is quickly discomforted by her lot as she finds that she is treated like a "diligent maid with a permanent pussy."<br />
<br />
Ms. Angelou talks to a Black woman friend about her frustrations who insists that male dominance is the "natural order." She doesn't encourage her. She doesn't recognize the injustice in the relationship. She supports the current order.<br />
<br />
Although the book takes place in the 1960s these same conversations can be heard today in 2014.<br />
<br />
This made me think about how girls and women are told that if we remand our lives to a man's care then we shall live happily ever after.<br />
<br />
There's the fairy tales. There's the movies. The books. The romance industry. Woman is saved by a man and lives happily ever after. All she needs to do is relent her power and become submissive to him and everything will be okay.<br />
<br />
So well-meaning women do just this. They go their whole lives as individuals and then give up that individuality as soon as they meet a man. And in the best case scenario they wake up down the road in their life with a stymied sense of self and in worst case scenario they become easier targets for intimate partner violence and financial manipulation.<br />
<br />
But nonetheless I hear this argument all the time: that women's subordinance and men's dominance is natural. And I wonder why if it's so natural then why is it constantly reiterated? Why doesn't it naturally occur? Why must it be constantly preached on the pulpit? Why is it continuously shown in the media?<br />
<br />
It seems to me that equality is what's natural. Everything else is contrived. Women must be brainwashed to believe that they lack individual power. Women must be threatened with being alone or being viewed as undesirable. That is how you maintain male dominance.<br />
<br />
Part of being a self-realized woman is learning to not be afraid of your own power. I have had to realize that a lot of people will be uncomfortable with my assertiveness and intelligence and strength but that's their problem and not mine. I have had to realize that I don't deserve to keep company with people who are threatened by me taking charge of my own life. Of my own life.<br />
<br />
I've had to learn that every message to be more quiet, more demure, more obedient is spoken by people who are most certainly weaker than I am and are reliant on sexism to hopefully persuade me to give up on myself.<br />
<br />
Women are often told to let a "man be a man." Sure, if that allows room for me to be a woman. Room for us to both be self-actualized humans and not one of us to be an object or chattel property.<br />
<br />
Women can't be scared of their power. They can't let the message that intelligent and independent women are punished prevent them for exercising these gifts. Because while it is true that anti-patriarchal women are sanctioned in any patriarchal society the costs are always way higher for mindlessly following along. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-8317097268870762632" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; position: relative; width: 576px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<div>
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /></div>
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-7700641548132940352014-07-20T11:07:00.000-07:002014-07-20T11:23:28.623-07:00Personal Reflections on Black Immigrants and Transnational Boundaries <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/stltoday.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/4/58/4584ba45-14dd-5959-942e-046531ccac58/5319ff70cc7cf.preview-620.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/stltoday.com/content/tncms/assets/v3/editorial/4/58/4584ba45-14dd-5959-942e-046531ccac58/5319ff70cc7cf.preview-620.jpg" height="320" width="207" /></a></div>
I finally finished reading <i>Americanah </i>by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Although it took me four months to complete it in the end it was an amazing book and it caused me to think deeply about my own national and ethnic identities.<br />
<br />
The book featured two main characters, Ifemelu and Obinze, who immigrate to different countries from Nigeria. Ifemelu goes to America and Obinze travels to England. I found myself relating to both characters.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
In three weeks I'll be moving from California to London, England to complete a one year Masters program.<br />
<br />
I'm excited but also anxious. And yet, I can't imagine that my anxiousness at all equals to those who want to enter England from the Commonwealth or the Global South.<br />
<br />
One night while I was reading <i>Americanah </i>I took out my blue American passport and my red United Kingdom passport and just stared at them and thought about my dual citizenship. Arguably, I possess the two most powerful passports in the world. And that's a legacy of immigration.<br />
<br />
My father was born in Nevis. Nevis is a tiny island in the Caribbean that used to be owned by the British. It didn't receive its independence until 1983. My dad's story is so eerily similar to Obinze's that I had to pause continually while reading the novel.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.mappery.com/maps/Nevis-Tourist-Map.mediumthumb.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.mappery.com/maps/Nevis-Tourist-Map.mediumthumb.png" height="320" width="296" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
My father didn't have a terrible life in the Caribbean. His family was middle class by island standards. His mother ran her own private school where the children of government officials attended. His father had a government job and also farmed. All of the children attended school although it was common for kids to be pulled out to help their parents with farming.<br />
<br />
In all truth, middle class cannot be at all compared to a social class in America.<br />
<br />
If you take a materialistic approach then middle class there is lower than low income in America. My father had no electricity and no running water growing up. A fact many Black immigrants will remind you of as a way to put unfair expectations on their American born children and to denigrate Black Americans. This is the uncomplicated truth because then there's the fact that he had community structure. He didn't live in the midst of violence (instigated by gangs or the police). He received a quality education. Perhaps even superior to most schools in America even though they had less materials and worse buildings. He had clean food to eat. These are all things that in America are mainly accessible to the (white) middle class.<br />
<br />
Also, living in a Black majority country brings different issues. White supremacy is more of an invisible hand in the form of colonialism. This means that your country is dealing with less collective opportunity for its citizens because of the interference of leech-like European colonialist forces. It also means that the same issues of experienced day to day anti-Blackness is in many ways a non-factor. You're not really "Black" in the American or European meaning until you go to an American or European country.<br />
<br />
My father nurtured a desire to move to America from a very young age. Perhaps it was a similar desire to Obinze's. It wasn't that life was horrible or desperate in the Caribbean. It was more that there was increased opportunity abroad. My father was of the social position where he was acutely aware of his glass ceiling and he wanted more. Obinze, the child of a Nigerian university professor, was in a similar situation.<br />
<br />
My father tried to gain entrance into America but they rejected him. America has always had a strict immigration policy when it comes to Black majority countries. Many of his friends were going to Canada but they rejected him as well. So then he tried England and was accepted.<br />
<br />
My father was accepted into England because Nevis is a part of the Commonwealth. At the time there were no restrictions against Commonwealth citizens who desired to move to England. He went during the 1950s. Actually not long after the 1948 MV Empire Windrush (the first mass arrival of Caribbean people to London).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://lowres-picturecabinet.com.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/43/main/37/115805.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://lowres-picturecabinet.com.s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/43/main/37/115805.jpg" height="231" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
He worked on the path towards citizenship and then left to go to Canada. And from Canada he was able to gain entrance to the United States on a work permit. Three countries later and he had finally reached his end goal of being in America and legally becoming American. He then went back to England for a second time in the 1980s and this is when he met my mother.<br />
<br />
Unlike my father, my mother was born in England. She was born to Jamaican parents who similarly to my father had immigrated during the time when there were no restrictions. After my father and mother married they decided to move to America because my father was still convinced that it was the best country in the world. And then I was born a few years later.<br />
<br />
For a long time I didn't want to reconcile with my complex national and cultural heritage. At first I just wanted to be Caribbean because I had internalized negative views about being Black American. I didn't understand why racial inequality functioned in the way it did. And neither did my parents. My father came to America with his narrative and didn't care to figure out the narratives of native born Black folks.<br />
<br />
But as I began to feel more and more alienated from my Caribbean heritage (due to never being around Caribbean people except for my parents) I started to embrace being a Black American. And I started to claim my Black American-ness at the expense of all my other identities. I was ashamed of my being raised to be anti-Black American. Simultaneously, I was enamored with what I was learning about Black American history. I had read the Autobiography of Malcolm X and I wanted to claim that legacy especially since all I knew was being Black in America.<br />
<br />
My curiosity about exploring the nuance of my identities probably only began two years ago when my maternal grandmother passed away. My Jamaican grandma who I'd visit every other summer in England. She'd always have to speak slowly because nobody taught me how to understand never mind speak patois.<br />
<br />
When she died I felt a weird emptiness that went beyond no longer having the only grandma I ever knew and loved. I also felt like I had lost my one genuine connection to being Caribbean. All my life my father had been so into becoming American -- to talking about how great America and England are -- that he never taught me a firm respect for the islands.<br />
<br />
My grandma, by contrast, never tried to become English. Maybe that's why after forty-something years she never lost her accent and all of her children could speak and understand patois. But I had been forced into acculturation. I was forced to see myself solely as American and yet to view being Black American negatively.<br />
<br />
After I lost my grandma I felt like if I understood my heritage then I'd be better able to understand her legacy. So I started reading and studying.<br />
<br />
Then my uncle invited me to stay in England with him after college graduation. And I eventually decided to apply to postgraduate programs. And here I am.<br />
<br />
<i>Americanah </i>reminded me of the complexities of my heritage. Transnational boundaries. The complexities of being American. Why it makes sense for so many Black immigrants to be low income in this country when they were middle class at home. The incessant push that education is the means to class advancement. The unrealistic expectations put on American or English born children. The seemingly mutually exclusive nature of being Black American and a Black non-American. The legacy of colonialism and imperialism.<br />
<br />
I have a lot left to discover but it's an exciting journey. Going to England is a way for me to become closer to my roots.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-8317097268870762632" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; position: relative; width: 576px;">
<div>
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<div>
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /></div>
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-73257113200232628122014-07-18T06:37:00.002-07:002014-07-20T11:50:00.880-07:00The Virginity Concept: Meaningless? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqnEeAC8pLfFVONzUL4WwkF7pmnTw7R0tmghF0fuUTDLaYWxo7FEcvWVoB3gmeYgPlYcQezTs6dMm-Vq2urYzuyiEchJoGWke06Lu3wRz7lih4W_z-IdHzpJ0BQrCg24RPjIue10YRVJL/s640/a-pure-promise_53483_600x450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwqnEeAC8pLfFVONzUL4WwkF7pmnTw7R0tmghF0fuUTDLaYWxo7FEcvWVoB3gmeYgPlYcQezTs6dMm-Vq2urYzuyiEchJoGWke06Lu3wRz7lih4W_z-IdHzpJ0BQrCg24RPjIue10YRVJL/s640/a-pure-promise_53483_600x450.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Recently, I've been thinking about emotional sexual health. I came across an op-ed which argued that virginity is an imaginary concept bereft of actual meaning. While this seemed well-intentioned it made me weirdly uncomfortable.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
We all approach things from our unique social location. I read the op-ed about virginity as a Black Christian woman. And that identity comes with its own unique complexities when informing my views of what my sexuality should be like.<br />
<br />
But I also read it as a Black feminist. And from that vantage point it seemed to be almost a denial of the pervasive nature of patriarchy. More of a high ideal than an actual reality. I suppose it would be great if virginity actually was bereft of any meaning. But as long as we live in a patriarchal culture how can that ever be truly possible?<br />
<br />
And then if it's not fully possible for virginity to be a meaningless concept then how do we propose that women, specifically Black women, engage in sex that is physically AND emotionally safe?<br />
<br />
I don't really know the answer to this question. But it seems to me that this is the pivotal question to be asking.<br />
<br />
The liberal feminist tendency to say "virginity is meaningless" doesn't tackle the fact that it's in fact very meaningful and that sexuality remains one of the fundamental axes of women's oppression.Telling women that their virginity is meaningless does not in anyway counteract the ways in which the world functions to let women know that it's not.<br />
<br />
It reminds me of the liberal feminist "lean in" theory. The idea that one must simply be more assertive and less emotional and then all of their professional problems will be solved! Ignoring sexist factors outside of a woman's control and the masses of women who do not work white collar jobs.<br />
<br />
Similarly, the advice that one ought to just <i>believe </i>that virginity is meaningless ignores the sexist factor existing outside of an individual woman's control. It also ignores the women who don't even have complete say over when they become sexually active and in what way they become sexually active.<br />
<br />
Many women (and people in general) grow up learning that sex is something a woman "gives" to a man (a very hetero-normative concept) and that a woman "loses" something if she gives her virginity to anybody besides her husband.<br />
<br />
And I've seen how women (myself included) have tried to digest these sexist messages.<br />
<br />
Taught to believe that sex is evil and impure, they might have lost the desire in an intellectual sense to engage in sexual activity. But the biological and emotional draw still remains. It can create in a person a muddling sense of confusion.<br />
<br />
When a woman loses her virginity that's when the reconciling begins. The guilt. The feelings of being less than, somehow soiled. Not because the woman is actually less than or soiled. But because her entire life she was taught that that is what losing one's virginity made you. This guilt may be compounded by religion. But it also comes from secular sources.<br />
<br />
There are those who might argue that the sex positivity movement clears this all up. All you have to do is tell women the reverse message: that being sexually active isn't bad. Now all problems are solved!<br />
<br />
Except does the sex positivity movement fix the prevalence of sexual assault? Does it mute the voices of those who call sexually active women a ho or slut? Does it fix the feelings of being used or taken advantage of when women are emotionally manipulated into sex?<br />
<br />
Does it fix the fact that the default position for a Black girl is a ho? Black women (and unfortunately even girls) are automatically sexualized. The push for female virginity has long been viewed in the Black community not merely as an internalized of sexist gender norms but as a means of protection. Black Christian women (specifically within the Baptist church) pushed the idea that Black women could be "chaste" and pure as an attempt to lessen sexual assault (see Evelyn Brooks-Higginbotham's <i>Righteous Discontent</i>).<br />
<br />
This is not to say that virginity is better than non-virginity. It's to explore how the concept of virginity has been viewed within the Black community and the reasons why it has been viewed in that way.<br />
<br />
A part of me feels that our mothers and aunts and grandmothers said "keep your legs closed!" not because it was the full story but the simple one. The uncomplicated explanation for how to deal with a patriarchal culture that derides women who possess sexual self-determination.<br />
<br />
I recently read a piece geared towards teenage girls telling them to refrain from having sex because it will make them disrespected. I was irked by the simplistic analysis that denied their autonomy. But at the same time I was oddly sympathetic to the view as I've found myself in the position where it's not that I'm opposed to being sexually active on principle but that I don't want to deal with the social (and maybe even physical) ramifications.<br />
<br />
I suppose I'm wondering how can we have real conversations about women and emotional sexual health without overlooking the challenges that patriarchy has created or acting as if women have no self-determination entirely and are merely victims of patriarchy?<br />
<br />
I honestly couldn't tell you the answer. But I do know that it must be more complex than "stay a virgin until marriage!" or "virginity is a meaningless construct!"<br />
<br />
<div class="post-body entry-content" id="post-body-8317097268870762632" itemprop="description articleBody" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; orphans: auto; position: relative; text-align: start; text-indent: 0px; widows: auto; width: 576px;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /></div>
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; clear: both; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-83170972688707626322014-07-11T05:53:00.001-07:002014-07-11T09:51:46.113-07:00The "Daquan" Meme: It Shouldn't Be Funny<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Daquan-Memes-6-600x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://smokingsection.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Daquan-Memes-6-600x600.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
I don't find the "Daquan" meme funny at all. Basically, it's a meme created by Black Twitter that stereotypes the "hood" Black guy who exclusively dates upper middle class white girls.<br />
<br />
Daquan is a pedophile, a money launderer (with the assistance of his white girlfriend), obsessed with sex, a rapist ("he let the whole squad hit"). He also shuns education. Supports violence. And is only concerned with making money (illegally) and being a rapper.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Although the meme is Black created, the "Daquan" persona is most certainly white created. And all of these memes are a joke on Black men. Particularly, the non-Black made ones that have been created since the meme has gone viral. It directly plays into the idea that Black men are especially misogynist, dangerous, lazy and manipulative, and sex crazed.<br />
<br />
In this sense the meme didn't go viral because it's new and original. It went viral because it's very old and familiar albeit brought to the new-ish sphere of memes and social media. The "Daquan" persona is quite literally a twenty-first century articulation of how Black men have always been perceived. And not just "hood" or poor Black men. But all Black men.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'd find it more funny if I weren't so knowledgeable about how these myths of Black male inferiority have been used to justify centuries of oppression and abuse.<br />
<br />
Lynching, a far too common occurrence even up to the twentieth century, was justified by the "Daquan" image. Except in that context it wasn't a laughing matter. White supremacists invented an image of dangerous and slothful Black men who were sex crazed and obsessed with white women. And this prevailing image gave credence to the extrajudicial violent murders of hundreds of Black folks.<br />
<br />
Maybe Black Twitter is not familiar with this aspect of their history. But by embracing this very dangerous stereotype and turning it into a meme certainly nothing positive can come from that. And we have to consider: is laughing at ourselves worth it if we're contributing to the maintenance of oppressive images... against ourselves?<br />
<br />
Are we so bereft in our comedic capacity that the only jokes we have are ones that are on us? A plethora of comedians such as Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle would beg to differ.<br />
<br />
Some might argue in defense of the meme that Daquan's really exist. To that I say: sure, men exist who are lazy and violent and sex obsessed and extremely misogynist. And they're of all different races and ethnic backgrounds. But clearly, this meme is saying something much more specific than that. It's saying that this is the norm for Black men. That this is all they amount to. All they are worth.<br />
<br />
Personally, I don't know any Daquan's because Daquan is a hyperbolic stereotype comfortably placed in our cultural imagination due to centuries of white supremacy.<br />
<br />
Prevailing images prevent Black men from being viewed as intelligent, caring, and ambitious. They aren't viewed as being able to think with their heads and not just their body parts.<br />
<br />
I don't find a thing about that funny.<br />
<br />
I find it to be a misrepresentation of who Black men really are. And moreover I find it dangerous. In a time where Black men are still routinely attacked by police, random white people who think they are the police, and everybody in between we have to be more socially responsible.<br />
<br />
Or at least we should be.<br />
<br />
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;" />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-26370565193874660612014-07-03T14:30:00.000-07:002014-07-03T14:36:06.199-07:00The Failure of the Natural Hair Movement <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.607989059454436539&pid=15.1&P=0" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://ts4.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.607989059454436539&pid=15.1&P=0" height="162" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
Honestly, I've never considered myself to be a part of the natural hair community. Yet, I've been sans chemicals all my life except once when I made a poor decision in ninth grade and got a perm. Never made that decision again because I lost a lot of my length.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
For practically all of college I didn't alter my hair texture at all. I wear my 4C hair in all its natural splendor. Including when I graduated and I had to make it fit under the graduation cap that clearly wasn't made with my hair in mind.<br />
<br />
While I love how my hair looks aesthetically, it's also a political statement. I realize that my hair is looked down upon by mainstream culture. I know that many Black women are discouraged from wearing their hair the way I wear mine. And all of that makes me even more enthusiastic about stepping outside my house with it in an afro. It's like I'm saying I'm Black and I'm here. Deal with it.<br />
<br />
And it's because of this that I've side-eyed the natural hair movement ever since I heard of it because I immediately noticed that it was about embracing loose curls and not hair like mine. I also noticed that for girls who do have hair like mine the movement was primarily interested in altering hair texture... albeit not with perms.<br />
<br />
But it's just a testament of my privilege that I don't feel like I need a natural hair movement. I didn't need it because I was fortunate enough to be raised by a mother who also didn't alter her hair texture. My mother taught me how to care for my hair. I was never told it was unmanageable or ugly.<br />
<br />
In fact, I was expressly forbidden from altering my hair texture until I was around 13. So even in my pre-teens when I was receiving and somewhat accepting messages about my hair being inferior I was forced to work through it instead of changing it. And I'll be forever thankful to my parents for that.<br />
<br />
But even though I personally have a very minimal interest in the natural hair community as a whole I'm still angry about its hypocrisy.<br />
<br />
I'm angry because a lot of 4C Black women didn't grow up in a household where their hair was affirmed. A lot of Black girls grew up without even knowing the natural hair texture of their mothers, aunts, grandmothers. Without even knowing their own hair texture. It was destroyed by perms before it even had time to fully develop.<br />
<br />
A lot of Black women are constantly bombarded by the anti-Black and sexist opinions of Black men (and men in general) who claimed that natural hair was unattractive. They are discouraged by their jobs that tell them their hair is "unprofessional."<br />
<br />
These women are looking to the natural hair movement for affirmation they didn't receive at home. They are looking for visibility to encourage them to embrace their hair in its natural hair texture. And yet, the movement keeps letting them down time and time again.<br />
<br />
The natural hair movement is about a lot of things. It's about optimal health for hair. It's about feeling good about your hair. But if it's not fundamentally about refuting white supremacist messages that categorize hair like mine as unmanageable and ugly then what's the point?<br />
<br />
And if it's not honest and bold enough to grapple with the historical and present reality that kinky-haired Black people continue to be marginalized in schools, in professional contexts, and within their own families and interpersonal relationships then I don't want anything to do with it.<br />
<br />
You can't turn everything mainstream without watering it down, without looking over or even actively harming the people you claim to support.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
But that's why I've never been about the natural hair community life. I don't have time to be a second thought in a movement that claims I'm its first thought.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;" />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-40877073385811091032014-06-30T18:46:00.000-07:002014-06-30T19:21:34.543-07:00Hobby Lobby Supreme Court Decision: A Setback for Women<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://static2.demotix.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/a_scale_large/5100-5/photos/1404144261-us-supreme-court-hands-down-decision-in-burwell-v-hobby-lobby_5142545.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://static2.demotix.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/a_scale_large/5100-5/photos/1404144261-us-supreme-court-hands-down-decision-in-burwell-v-hobby-lobby_5142545.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Today's Supreme Court decision brought about a major setback for American women. Corporations are now allowed to deny women the right of full healthcare coverage if it conflicts with their religious beliefs.<br />
<br />
So the 5-4 majority decision (notably voted for by all men and not a single of the 3 sitting women justices) has voted that religious rights trump women's rights. And furthermore, corporation rights trump individual rights.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Birth control, like abortion, has always been at least somewhat available to wealthy, mostly white American women. Money and race can allow you to buy out of misogyny in certain respects although of course not fully. But what about the masses of women who do not have easy access to birth control?<br />
<br />
This Supreme Court decision will doubtlessly have greater ramifications than just Hobby Lobby. This decision has set a precedent that will allow more corporations to have greater ability to deny their female workers their rights. The female workers most impacted by this will be low income, women of color.<br />
<br />
Although many have claimed that we live in a sex-negative culture, I'd argue that we actually live in a sex-saturated culture that is simultaneously woman-negative. Pornography culture is ubiquitous. This does not only include literal pornography but also the objectification and hyper-sexualization of women's bodies common throughout the media.<br />
<br />
Sex is everywhere. But it's a specific kind of sex. The kind of sexuality represented is hetero-normative and misogynist. Even out-rightly violent towards women with even worse results for people of color who have always been typed as having dysfunctional sexuality. Pornography culture is linked to everything from cat-calling on the street to sex slavery.<br />
<br />
This is the norm. And it's coupled with the expectation that women will participate even at the expense of their physical and emotional health.<br />
<br />
Rights for patriarchal cisgender, heterosexual men to express their sexuality -- really the manifestation of their power over women -- continue to broaden.<br />
<br />
This is reinforced when rapists are given a slap on the wrist in court or when they don't even make it to court. When young girls are blamed for sexual assault and the pedophilia of adult men is ignored. When erectile dysfunction pills are viewed as more necessary than birth control. When breast-feeding is stigmatized but breasts are fine when selling men products. When you turn on the TV and realize that coercive and physically violent representations of sex with woman are becoming increasingly prevalent. When sick forms of sexual oppression and abuse are called "kinks" as a euphemism to make them palatable to the public.<br />
<br />
It seems as if the cis, hetero male's right to have sex has long superseded a woman's right to sexual and emotional health.<br />
<br />
This version of society isn't just marketed to men. But also to women who are encouraged to normalize this as well. So sexual aggression and violence become "passion" and "love" and misogyny is shrouded in a woman-hating fantasy of what normal sex is. And furthermore, this version of sex is spoken of as an indispensable aspect of relationships. Any other kind of sex is not normal and therefore wrong.<br />
<br />
Meanwhile, the same women who are manipulated and even forced to participate in this culture are losing ground in their ability to protect themselves with birth control and access to abortion.<br />
<br />
This is a time where a woman is a "slut" or a "ho" for the smallest indiscretion and a "prude" if they do not engage in sex with men. Because of this, it's common for women to be pressured into sex by male partners. It is not rape because she "consented" even though she "consented" because she was brainwashed to believe that a woman's role (even a girl's role) is to "give" sex to men on their terms.<br />
<br />
Just because a woman does not have the financial means to procure birth control doesn't mean that she has magically escaped this culture which manipulates her into have sex not on her own terms.<br />
<br />
That's the fallacy of the pro-Hobby Lobby argument. They say that if women want to have sex (with the underlying belief that women shouldn't want to have sex and only "sluts" like Sandra Fluke even have sexual desire) that they should pay for their own protection. But something far more insidious is revealed when one understands that many women are having sex and it's not on their terms at all.<br />
<br />
I had my first OBGYN check-up last week and I was asked to fill out a questionnaire. Some of the questions took me aback: Does your partner support your form of birth control? Does your partner allow you to use birth control?<br />
<br />
I've heard so many times from women that they didn't use a condom because the man didn't want to use a condom. The casually sexist sociopath might respond: "Well she's stupid! She should have just demanded he use a condom or bounce!" but we can't undervalue the power of negative messages telling women that they owe men sex and they owe it on their terms.<br />
<br />
Women are expected to objectify themselves and see themselves only through the "male gaze" and if she doesn't then something is wrong with her.<br />
<br />
And so these terrible messages are relentlessly shoved down the throats of women and girls and now more than ever in recent history: women do not even have the legal backing to protect themselves when they're literally doing what they're expected to do by participating in this male-dominated hyper-sexed culture.<br />
<br />
It's not simply that in our culture men demand sex from women. That's unfortunately not even the crux of the issue. It's that our patriarchal culture demands women's ultimate subservience and that is in terms of mind and body. Only one facet of this is within the realm of sex.<br />
<br />
But it is surely one of the worse injustices that women cannot choose when and under what circumstances to give birth in 2014. According to today's Supreme Court decision, women can't even choose when and under what circumstances to prevent pregnancy... unless they have enough money.<br />
<br />
But this is not surprising on more than one front. America is not exactly known for its benevolence to poor people. And it's definitely not known for it's great love of women. So this decision is in tandem with the status quo.<br />
<br />
But the status quo is so dangerous.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-54284511765643121692014-06-24T23:21:00.000-07:002014-06-24T23:21:32.835-07:00Black Women & Patriarchal Relationship Advice <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://api.ning.com/files/DnOnKWqizzwyLSAxAuZJkW1*q6vck65Rhx2HJib268zLZJ92RugQbNycdoh-JFh6Elqdfibk9YWHTadRMOvRGSZUy2TSi0V-/singleblackwomenpic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://api.ning.com/files/DnOnKWqizzwyLSAxAuZJkW1*q6vck65Rhx2HJib268zLZJ92RugQbNycdoh-JFh6Elqdfibk9YWHTadRMOvRGSZUy2TSi0V-/singleblackwomenpic.jpg" /></a></div>
A lot of the relationship advice directed towards Black women is quite frankly scary.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, I'm not just referencing "relationship help gurus" such as Steve Harvey and Tyrese. I'm also talking about the advice you'll get from your mom's best friend, your auntie, your older cousin, and the well-meaning ladies in the church.<br />
<br />
I find the advice given to Black women particularly discouraging in light of the fact that Black women deal with some of the highest rates of intimate partner violence and sexual assault. So you'd think we'd have created and sustained enlightening advice that supports our self-determination and physical and emotional health. But instead the intent of most given advice is towards pleasing and subordinating ourselves to (Black) men.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
Some folks like to dress up the concept of "submission" and they do mental back flips to insist that it's actually a burden on men and a blessing for women. But truly, what good have women gained from not feeling empowered to at all handle household finances? What have women gained from not having an equal voice in terms of every day household decisions? What have women gained by being demoted from a single adult to essentially a married child due to the expected dynamics of patriarchal relationships?<br />
<br />
Perhaps bell hooks had the most succinct debunk of this "female submission is great!" myth when she said: "Love cannot exist in any relationship that is based on domination and coercion."<br />
<br />
That is precisely the truth.<br />
<br />
It is interesting that in the twenty-first century - a time where women are making more educational, political, and economic gains than ever before (Black women included) - that these changes seem to be coming faster than any change in the structure of romantic heterosexual relationships.<br />
<br />
The result is that women gain increased rights outside of the home but find themselves remanded to the antiquated role of an unpaid baby sitter, maid, and sex toy within the home. This has costs for all women. But particular costs for Black women who as a whole are less economically stable and more at risk of experiencing violence than most other racial/ ethnic groups.<br />
<br />
So then why is there a particular focus on preserving male superiority within Black male/ female romantic relationships? Why is this message drilled into the heads of young Black girls, taught as being a fundamental part of being a Christian, and even of being a woman in general? <br />
<br />
We are still as a collective group trying to deal with the 1965 Moynihan report and the myth of Black male emasculation. Here we are living in a culture that teaches ALL men that it's their natural born (and God-given) right to rule over women and a white man comes along and says that Black men don't have that right. Not because white men have taken it from them but because Black women have.<br />
<br />
We can still see the psychological trauma the Moynihan report has caused. Because most people (of all genders) believe that if it's not patriarchy it's wrong. Let me be clear: there's a lot of women who believe that if it's not patriarchy it's wrong.<br />
<br />
Although I see it fit to mostly focus on male sexism when issues of gender inequality come up it makes most sense to focus on patriarchal women within this particular context of discussing romantic relationships. Because it is the tacit belief and adherence to patriarchy that is in part responsible for women entering and remaining in unequal and even abusive relationships.<br />
<br />
Simply because that's what they've been taught. It honestly doesn't matter if they themselves are survivors of intimate partner violence. It doesn't matter if they've experienced what it's like when you put your life in a man's control and he doesn't follow through. They keep thinking that it's their fault. That if they had been quieter... more agreeable... more subservient then things would have worked out differently.<br />
<br />
It's like willingly entering into a master/slave relationship and believing that you'll be anything more than a slave if you are "well behaved" even though "slave" is the role you were put into from the start. You don't get upgraded from that.<br />
<br />
There's a lot of things I don't know about dating. But what I do know is that I want an equal partnership with a man and that if a man doesn't want an equal partnership then he's not the man for me. It's as simple as that.<br />
<br />
I want to experience love. But not at the expense of my subjectivity. And in any case, any love that requires me to shrink myself is not love any at all.<br />
<br />
And I believe that's also the problem. A lot of people aren't really and truly looking for love. They're looking for societal approval. In that sense, patriarchal relationships are comfortable because they are popular and they are expected and well-supported.<br />
<br />
But with a true zealous longing for love patriarchy could never be a part of the picture. A true love would never require any partner (male or female) to subordinate themselves to another.<br />
<br />
I know that it must be confusing for Black women (many older than I) who subscribe to these dangerous notions about romantic relationships.<br />
<br />
Many of these women are well-educated and professionally successful. They have spent many years as an adult fully responsible for themselves and able to fulfill their own needs. And then they fall prey to the idea that they must shrink themselves in order to be an agreeable yes woman to a man. Any man. Just in the name of marriage.<br />
<br />
Occasionally, you hear the story of a Black woman who says she never thought she'd find "the one" and get married but then she learned to be submissive and ta da! the ring arrived!<br />
<br />
This is misleading for several reasons. Of course, it's easy to find a man if you're a doormat. Many women mistakenly think that having standards means withholding sex prior to marriage or only dating men with a certain educational level or income. But that's superficial and really should not count as having standards at all. That's all just merely a personal preference.<br />
<br />
True standards are knowing that you will and are able to stand up for yourself and your unique needs and desires even with the knowledge that many men are turned off by self-empowered and outwardly intelligent women. Because that means you value yourself more than you value being of service to him.<br />
<br />
Secondly, submission may have gotten the woman the ring and led to the wedding ceremony but it doesn't lead to happy marriage.<br />
<br />
As an individual adult, no woman can keep up the charade of leaving her entire life up to a man forever. Sooner than later she will assert herself. Why? Because it doesn't make logical sense that one person in a two person relationship call all the shots. The person with limited say is going to eventually become disgruntled. And because her relationship was founded on the idea that she was never to assert herself that will doubtlessly lead to friction.<br />
<br />
But many Black women who hear these stories and are also coming with the weight of believing that they're innately less likely to find love anyway as an "undesirable" Black woman (see Being Mary Jane) eat this stuff up without thinking logically about the consequences. Often invisible unless you find yourself in one of these unequal relationships.<br />
<br />
I don't want to be trapped by ideologies that place a man above me. I don't want to normalize patriarchal standards and believe that's how a home should be set up.<br />
<br />
I want something I've honestly seen too little of: and that is equality in a romantic partnership. I've honestly seen more gender equality in school and in the work place than I've seen in witnessing the romantic partnerships of people around me. And there's something wrong about that.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />Enter your email address here:<br /><input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br /><input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-68505389502282824202014-06-23T09:00:00.002-07:002014-06-23T09:19:15.269-07:00Road Trip while Black: Running into White Vigilantes <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.msrproductions.com/prodimages/f06lrg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.msrproductions.com/prodimages/f06lrg.jpg" height="182" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I have to share the story of what happened to me this past weekend. Fortunately, I was with friends when the situation happened.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Basically, my two friends and I went on a weekend trip to a retreat. This retreat is out in the country. We're in the mountains. My phone barely has reception. I'm regularly sighting deer. This is all novel for city folks like us.<br />
<br />
So one of the nights we left to get fast food. We drove to the local little town and found something and then starting to drive back to the retreat. It was about 10:30 at night.<br />
<br />
Although there's three of us we don't quite remember how to get back so we end up making the wrong turn. No big deal, right? We turn on this small, secluded kinda road. It's very quiet. I jokingly said to my friends that we should get out of there because ironically we had made the same wrong turn when we first arrived to the retreat the day before and in the day time we had seen a huge confederate flag on one of the homes.<br />
<br />
This is California. There's no way that a person could say they're celebrating the South with the flag (and we all know what that means anyway). But even though I was semi-serious about the confederate flag it was still kinda a joke at that point.<br />
<br />
Like how funny! We're in the boondocks with people who are more than likely very racist! haha! How backwards! You don't see this back home! What are we in the South?<br />
<br />
I mean the thing is that a lot of white people are racist. However, in California you don't really think that translates into action unless it's within the realm of police brutality (see Fruitvale Station). People more attribute that with the Deep South. In California, we expect racist words or to be disdainfully treated. You don't think an actual white vigilante will run up on your car but that's EXACTLY what happened to us!<br />
<br />
Plus, the dude came out of nowhere! One second we were on the side of the road looking at a deer and the next I see this man running towards our car!<br />
<br />
Mind you we're on a public road clearly owned by the State of California and this man is very threateningly screaming at us "Get the F off my property!" And not only is he telling us to leave but he is trying to approach the car and even open the driver's side.<br />
<br />
So we quickly reverse the car because we want to get out of there more than he wants us to get out of there but we also don't want to run the guy over which is what he seemed to want us to do with the way he would not move from in front of the car.<br />
<br />
And even when we backed up he still didn't want to let us drive past. He was still trying to stop us by getting in front of the car but we were able to quickly swerve around him and escape.<br />
<br />
I swear on my life this man did not want us to get off this road. At least while unharmed. And we were just incredibly fortunate that he had no weapon on him because we were in area where everybody owns a gun because it's hunting territory.<br />
<br />
And then to make matters even scarier we ran into two more white men. They were dressed in all black just leering at the side of the road with a hunting dog. And they were looking at us so hard. I knew we had to get out of there!<br />
<br />
The terrifying part was that all three of us knew that there was really nothing we could do if we were attacked except attempt to lose them. We couldn't call the police. The police are more than likely related to these watch groups anyway which is why they are able to illegally patrol areas like that. The police would either conveniently have a slow response time (as historically happened in the case of vigilante justice/ lynching/ and etc.) or become part of our problem by labeling us as the aggressors.<br />
<br />
We don't trust city police. We definitely don't trust country police in all white areas.<br />
<br />
But thankfully, the situation didn't get any worse and we were able to get away from them and get back to where we actually belonged.<br />
<br />
After this was all said and done and we had finally gotten back to the retreat location I did some cursory internet research and found that the area we were in has a certifiable white supremacist vigilante group.<br />
<br />
After that experience I promise I'll never make a joke about confederate flags or the KKK ever again. It's so easy for us to forget that active violence against Black people is still occurring. I wonder: Is this the fear that Trayvon Martin felt when he was accosted? Except I had two friends and we were in a car. Trayvon was alone and on foot. The angry man we ran into didn't have a weapon. The angry man Trayvon ran into did.<br />
<br />
It's so easy for us to say this only happens in the Deep South or in Florida. But the truth is that this is happening all over the country. It's happening in Democratic blue California.<br />
<br />
It's amazing that when you're traveling while Black you're never just innocently taking a road trip and seeing new places. You have to be aware of your environment and know if you're in a staunchly anti-Black area. This is something I didn't even think about. Even when I saw the confederate flag I wasn't fully convicted that I should be concerned for my physical safety.<br />
<br />
And it's made me realize that I can't take racist imagery for granted. And also, I can't act like I have the same freedom to travel and explore as others do. Three Black people can't stop on a random side road and look in wonderment at a deer because we might get caught up in a racial altercation.<br />
<br />
So anyway, I am thankful to be alive. I'm thankful that nothing more major occurred. I am even more happy to be back home in the city where white vigilante groups aren't as much of an issue. And I'll take this experience as a learning lesson and as an opportunity to share and bring awareness to the normalcy of anti-Black violence.<br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;">
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-889039155132570332014-06-20T09:39:00.000-07:002014-06-20T09:43:26.528-07:00When They Say: "If She Does X is She a Ho?"<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.momentumnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/dreamstime_m_24864248-1024x682.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.momentumnation.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/dreamstime_m_24864248-1024x682.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Not too long ago I was talking about what I've come to call "modesty culture" (a topic I wrote about extensively in my "<a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/06/on-rihanna-teaching-me-to-say-no-to.html">On Rihanna Teaching Me to Say No to Modesty Culture</a>" piece). As I said in that piece, clothing choices are only one aspect of patriarchal control of women's bodies. Sexuality is a major component. I see this in no more succinct terms than when somebody asks: "If she does X is she a ho?"<br />
<a name='more'></a><div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If she has sex with a dude she's not dating is she a ho? If she has sex with a dude who doesn't call her back is she a ho? If she has sex with more than one person in a week, month, or year is she a ho? If she has sex without emotional attachment is she a ho? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The collective cultural fascination with labeling women as ho's is indicative of the need to find a reason to actively degrade and disparage a woman. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Our actions don't make us a ho - a term that dehumanizes and disrespect women. A term that disallows personal agency and turns personal choices into ways to judge and demean, to justify violence, bullying and hatred. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The ho label threateningly hangs over women from girlhood. Nobody wants to be a ho. And the greater point is that nobody is a ho.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Often folks try to conflate talking about sexual health with the issue of whether or not a woman is a "ho." That's faulty logic as sexual health is determined by healthy sexual practices. Not "body count" or whether sex was done with "emotions" or within the confines of a committed relationship. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Emotional health is also a separate issue. It should be discussed and considered whether an individual woman is emotionally ready for sex. However, this should be done without shame or judgment. Women are individuals. And as such only that individual woman would know when she's ready for sex. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And it's an important discussion to examine the ways in which women might be manipulated or pressured into having sex before they are ready or with partners who are not caring. But it solves no problems by calling women "ho's" if they have a less than perfect sexual experience. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The ho label is fundamentally about blame and shame specifically directed towards women. Folks may try to dress it up by feigning an interest in health or morality, but that's inconsistent with the actual impact of the term on girls and women. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So to answer the question: "If She Does X is She a Ho?" No, if she does X she has done X and you ought to examine why you are invested in calling her a ho. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-7137824899082818332014-06-11T09:36:00.001-07:002014-06-11T09:37:47.114-07:00"We're All Black" Is Not the End of the Conversation!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://rollingout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/march_on_washington_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://rollingout.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/march_on_washington_2.jpg" height="234" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
I see it all the time. When an issue comes up within the Black community that highlights intra-group oppression somebody inevitably says: "At the end of the day we're all Black!" to end the conversation. Another popular line is that "Whites see us all the same!"<br />
<br />
Not only is it NOT true that whites see us all the same. But more importantly, it's true that we don't even see each other in the same way. Intra-group oppression exists and is real. Colorism, heterosexism, transphobia, classism, and sexism are real in our communities and it impacts the way we navigate our lives.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
We're all Black but Black men are treated differently than Black women. We're all Black but dark skinned people are treated differently than light skinned people. We're all Black but heterosexual Black folks are treated differently than LGBTQIA Black folks. We're all Black but poor Black folks are treated differently than the middle class.<br />
<br />
So when "we're all Black" is used as a conversation finisher it perpetuates systematic inequality and oppression. It's not unlike how these same Black folks wouldn't like it and would consider it a micro-aggression if a white person said: "At the end of the day we all bleed red!" to avoid discussing white privilege and racism.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://gagthat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/001.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://gagthat.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/001.png" height="242" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Colorism, heterosexism, transphobia, classism, and sexism are real issues within the Black community. These issues work inter-sectionally with racism but are important on their own accord. And it's no less than violence to deny it by claiming that only race plays into how we are treated. It is violence because it prevents activism which would alleviate these other forms of oppression.<br />
<br />
The lie that only race matters or that race is the primary concern comes from a anti-racist narrative that has been molded mainly by middle class cis heterosexual Black men. And for this group it is true that only race matters. For the rest of us: not so much.<br />
<br />
And let's be honest about it and stop silencing each other by saying "we're all Black."<br />
<br />
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-30918767396297005182014-06-04T15:24:00.004-07:002014-06-07T12:48:40.748-07:00On Rihanna Teaching Me to Say No to Modesty Culture <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/513e4609b0c3b9901a2f8c655ef6fdc3/tumblr_n6m2okZNxc1qgo6j4o1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/513e4609b0c3b9901a2f8c655ef6fdc3/tumblr_n6m2okZNxc1qgo6j4o1_500.jpg" height="400" width="265" /></a></div>
<br />
I immediately fell in love with Rihanna's outfit for this year's CFDA Fashion Awards! I do not know much about fashion but the outfit reminded me of the 1920s. It heralded back to Josephine Baker.<br />
<br />
I also loved her acceptance speech for the "Style Icon Award" where she spoke about the meaning of fashion to her life. She talked about how she used fashion as a buffer against the meanness of others, as a way to elevate her confidence and feel good about herself.<br />
<br />
Rihanna was sending a message to women that extends far beyond the realm of fashion. She was speaking to the importance of self-defining and doing what it takes to feel worthy and confident and not asking for permission to do so. This is directly in contrast with modesty culture and patriarchy derived male entitlement.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Not everyone liked Rihanna's outfit. Her outfit has gotten her labeled as a "ho" and "slut." Folks (particularly men) have taken to social media to proclaim that if a woman is dressed like that she has no right to refuse male attention or sexual advances. Some "hypothetically" threatened violence if she were to refuse their advances.<br />
<br />
Modesty culture is a ruse. More specifically, it's a ruse that a man has the right to sexually violate a woman if she is not modestly dressed. It's a ruse because women are not assaulted based on how they are dressed. We are assaulted because we are women living under patriarchy. It does not matter whether a woman wears a long potato sack or if she is nude. She is not safe from victimization so long as there are patriarchal men.<br />
<br />
So then what is the purpose of modesty culture if it does not indeed protect women from sexual violence?<br />
<br />
Modesty culture is a distraction. It allows women with internalized misogyny trick themselves into feeling safer than they actually are. It allows folks to put down women and girls. And it allows male violence to be excused as it argues that it's inevitable and out of their control.<br />
<br />
Modesty culture does a lot. But it doesn't protect or uplift women.<br />
<br />
However, modesty culture has other implications. It promotes the idea that women do not own their own bodies. Our bodies are instead held captive by misogynist notions and by every individual man who has eyes to view us.<br />
<br />
Recently, I've gotten into crop tops. My mother was not very happy about this and her reason was that I did not need to show my stomach to the world. I told her that I want to show my stomach because I like how I look when I show my stomach. She told me that I would garner unwanted male attention and I told her that I don't dress for men. I dress for myself.<br />
<br />
At that point I think I lost her.<br />
<br />
Not too many people think that a woman can dress "non-modestly" and do so for her own happiness and benefit. If a woman shows her breasts or her stomach or wears shorts it is viewed as always being for male attention.<br />
<br />
This especially plays out to the detriment of teenage girls who are held hostage by often arbitrary and humiliating dress codes by their schools. They are made to feel ashamed of their bodies because they are told that boys (and grown adult men) are sexually turned on by them. The teenage girls are viewed as being at fault and not the boys and men who have been indoctrinated by patriarchal notions of women's bodies.<br />
<br />
This all makes sense because we live in a world where women's bodies are pornographically manipulated to sell products, to confirm male supremacy and women's weakness, to objectify us.<br />
<br />
In our culture, a woman's body is a product. It is the vehicle by which male supremacy is justified and upheld, where violent male fantasies are projected. And every dress choice we make is said to either titillate or repel a man.<br />
<br />
Modesty culture tells us we're supposed to find the magical "in between" where we're the "good girl" who is not an ugly prude. Of course, what is modest (but not repelling) is always changing based on context and men's whims.<br />
<br />
And then what? Where does that leave our ability to self-define? Nowhere.<br />
<br />
Modesty culture tells us that when women dress conservatively they are freeing themselves from male objectification. But it's modesty culture which renders every clothing choice a woman makes as being a part of male objectification.<br />
<br />
It is in this frame of thinking that I viewed Rihanna's outfit in. She did not wear it for men who took it upon themselves to label her a "ho" or "slut" or discuss how they would violate her if given the opportunity. She wore it for herself. She wore it because she felt powerful in it. Because she felt happy in it.<br />
<br />
Male entitlement extends far beyond women's clothing choices. But perhaps clothing and fashion is one front where misogyny can be saliently challenged and deconstructed.<br />
<br />
And it's for this reason that I praise Rihanna. I praise Rihanna for doing her own thing at the CFDA Fashion Awards in spite of all the social forces which encourage women to shrink themselves in favor and in fear of men.<br />
<br />
<b>Related Articles:</b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<li style="border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-top-style: none; color: #6e6e6e; margin: 0px; padding: 0.5em 15px;"><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/03/fyi-i-cannot-demand-respect-from-men-so.html" style="color: #771767; text-decoration: none;">FYI, I Cannot "Demand" Respect From Men so Stop Telling Me That!</a></li>
<li style="border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(190, 37, 182); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 0px; color: #6e6e6e; margin: 0px; padding: 0.5em 15px;"><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/05/why-am-i-nice-to-nice-guys.html" style="color: #771767; text-decoration: none;">Why am I So Nice to "Nice Guys"?</a></li>
<li style="border-bottom-color: transparent; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(190, 37, 182); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 0px; color: #6e6e6e; margin: 0px; padding: 0.5em 15px;"><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-good-black-girl-complex.html" style="color: #771767; text-decoration: none;">The Good Black Girl Complex</a></li>
<br />
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;" />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-21743759926059084912014-05-29T00:25:00.000-07:002014-05-29T00:45:14.956-07:00The Paradox of Being a Low Income Black College Graduate<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2Y7eSgV_9ZMCBxlT9omcNuVySzXfxU0uzehF4jljxi-u421gtxQm86L8ykSgthoOtt085q8XiC0A02-J91HMJQW-uFFGlnZJCEfNx0LeK9dgnhCXmpLrMVcn3u8KGvcrRc-uMRBBASg/s1600/Commencement+2014+169.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2Y7eSgV_9ZMCBxlT9omcNuVySzXfxU0uzehF4jljxi-u421gtxQm86L8ykSgthoOtt085q8XiC0A02-J91HMJQW-uFFGlnZJCEfNx0LeK9dgnhCXmpLrMVcn3u8KGvcrRc-uMRBBASg/s1600/Commencement+2014+169.jpeg" height="400" width="317" /></a></div>
<br />
I graduated from college three weeks ago. (That's me in the picture!)<br />
<br />
I know that I am experiencing a barrage of emotions and thoughts. I know that one of those feelings is annoyance.<br />
<br />
I am annoyed by the two emerging hegemonic conceptions of college.<br />
<br />
There's the idea that college is the great equalizer and the ticket for anybody (regardless of initial socioeconomic class or race) to have access to the middle class. Then there are those who argue that college is no longer worth the money and time and college graduates are in an awful position and would have been better off never going.<br />
<br />
The fact is that neither of these positions are correct. At least not for college grads like myself.<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
I entered college with two main risk factors: I am Black and I am low income. These risk factors mean that I was statistically less likely to enter straight into a four year university, and more likely to matriculate but never graduate and certainly not within four years. Statistically, I am more likely to be above the national average in debt and I am more likely to be unemployed or underemployed after college.<br />
<br />
So college is definitely not the great equalizer. Recently, there has been some press coverage about a new study which shows that <a href="http://www.nationaljournal.com/next-america/education/african-americans-with-college-degrees-are-twice-as-likely-to-be-unemployed-as-other-graduates-20140527">Black college grads are twice as likely to be unemployed in comparison to their white counterparts</a>. Similar statistics can be cited for women, low income folks, and other marginalized groups. So college definitely does not have equal results for everybody. The results one gets from obtaining a degree certainly depends on their social location.<br />
<br />
And at the same time: college is perhaps even more of a useful step towards financial stability for low income people of color than it is for middle class white folks. This is because low income people of color have a lower starting point. Therefore, a college degree is used to reach the same success a middle class white person might have had access to without completing college. This is due to the compounding results of generations of racial and class discrimination.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://soc101.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/projected_lifetime_income_by_gender_and_race-ethnicity.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://soc101.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/projected_lifetime_income_by_gender_and_race-ethnicity.jpg" height="347" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
While college is more expensive than ever (and this is especially felt by low income folks) it is not exactly pointless (or as I've seen some argue: detrimental) if it's the difference between poverty and being lower middle class. The difference between being part of the working poor and part of the working and surviving.<br />
<br />
While this may not be impressive for privileged groups who have for generations taken for a granted that a college degree (of any area of study and any GPA) will equal a ticket to the solid middle class, it is impressive for folks like me. During my final semester of college, I was offered a job with an income close to that of my parents combined. Not impressive for those who come from upper middle class families but impressive for me.<br />
<br />
I am blessed. I am thankful for my degree. Not particularly thankful to the institution itself. But more thankful to the individuals who helped me navigate the institution. However, I have no regrets about where I obtained my degree from because I know that the problems I had there I would have had nearly anywhere.<br />
<br />
My college experience was mired by racism and classism as the same can be said for low income Black students on practically any college campus. I watched students I entered with four years ago drop out. Sometimes not solely due to money, but also due to the oppressive environment.<br />
<br />
College can be rough for people like me: people who have to hold down multiple jobs while being full time students, people who deal with micro-aggressions all day every day, people who are criminalized on their campuses or assumed to not belong, people whose intelligence are constantly questioned. College can be rough for anybody but these factors exacerbate already existing difficulties.<br />
<br />
And then to exit this experience knowing that what there is to be gained is statistically not equal to middle class white men is disheartening. But not enough to make me regret ever going through with it.<br />
<br />
That's the paradox. I know that college was racist and classist while I was there. I know that racism and classism will limit my opportunities now that I'm done. And yet, I know I would be in a far worse predicament had I not gone any at all.<br />
<br />
I was selected to deliver the commencement address for my college. My college is 163 years old but I was only the second Black student speaker and the first Black woman. I knew that my commencement speech needed to resonate with all of the graduates and their families and friends. And at the same time I was aware that my experience did not necessarily align itself with the dominant college student narrative.<br />
<br />
Not because what I did during college was abnormal. But because the stakes were always different. And because the pressure was always different. The circumstances were different.<br />
<br />
I stayed up late nights studying like many other college students. I attended class like other students. I participated in Greek life and other co-curricular organizations. I seemed "normal."<br />
<br />
And I guess that is the best way to sum up my college experience: I did what was "normal" under the "not normal" circumstances of being low income and Black. And by God's grace here I am.<br />
<br />
And I'm excited for the future. Especially since my immediate future consists of a much needed break from school before I pursue graduate studies. And I'm also ever vigilant and wary. And ready to deconstruct any notion of the college graduate experience that simplifies or erases the challenges of those who are marginalized.<br />
<br />
I can go so far as to say that it angers me when I see people say that college is a waste of time no matter what justification they may have. It makes me angry because I know that college is the only way out of poverty for so many low income kids of color. It's widely understood in the Black community that if you can't play ball or entertain then you best stay in school. It's a funny saying with a somber truth.<br />
<br />
And the economic recession or the rise in college tuition hasn't made this saying outdated. If anything, it has made it more of a truth.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">Related Articles:</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/02/black-tokenism-pwi-experience.html"><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Black Tokenism and the PWI Experience</span></a></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-decoration: none;"><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/01/i-am-whole-not-perfect.html" style="text-decoration: none;">I Am Whole, Not Perfect: Reflections on Black Girl Perfectionism</a></span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-17147638609490111732014-05-24T21:55:00.001-07:002014-06-07T12:49:06.288-07:00On The Importance of Celebrating Revolutionary Sisterhood<br />
<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img src="http://24.media.tumblr.com/85dcd7fff403c5edb317c561570bea91/tumblr_n63mqlR1uY1qjzmzwo2_1280.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></div>
<br />
<br />
I've learned many important lessons from my mother. One really important lesson I've learned is the importance of having strong relationships with other women.<br />
<br />
As a young, single hetero woman I've often romanticized the idea of being a wife and mother. And yet, I've grown up witnessing my mother's close friendships with other women from the sidelines and I've seen how those friendships have sustained her in ways that being a mother or wife doesn't always.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
It bothers me when women say that they don't have women friends and then they justify it by saying women are all "catty bitches" and "dramatic." It bothers me because I know what they are missing out on. Solidarity and sisterhood among women is one of the most powerful and revolutionary forces. It makes us whole. It heals us from the scars of patriarchy and sexism. It reminds us to define femininity and womanhood beyond the confines of the male gaze and patriarchal gender expectations.<br />
<br />
Reality television shows like "Real Housewives" don't really bother me on account of the materialism or similar concerns. But what does bother me is how relationships between women are depicted. It directly feeds into the prevailing stereotype that women just can't get along with each other. I distinctly remember the first and only full episode I ever saw of a "Real Housewives" with some other friends. Most of the show was women fighting each other: physically and verbally.<br />
<br />
The underlying assumption in the "women hate other women" idea is that women are valueless and therefore friendships with women are worthless. What really matters is our relationships with men. They are to placed on a pedestal as being a boo, bae, girlfriend, wife (to a man) is far more important than being another woman's confidante and best friend.<br />
<br />
Hollywood is certainly guilty of perpetuating this. Watch any movie with a female lead and 9/10 a primary aspect of the story line is the woman protagonist entering into a relationship with a man. The same can be said for books although maybe to a slightly lesser degree. Perhaps I'm even guilty of this. I talk a lot about my (romantic and not so romantic) relationships with men. I don't spend even a fraction of the time verbalizing the importance of my relationships with women even though it is those relationships that are the most important in my life.<br />
<br />
I've kept the same two best friends since the age of seven (in fact, one was just with me to witness me graduate from college!) And I can say there are several women besides who I consider best friends and I'd ride or die for.<br />
<br />
And of course the most important woman in my life is my mother. I have a very unique relationship with my mother in that she's my mother <i>and </i>my best friend. I can tell her anything and everything. And I do. We travel everywhere together. From Lauryn Hill concerts to Reno, NV to long weekend trips 3000 miles away to Atlanta, Georgia.<br />
<br />
I know that our relationship cannot be explained by the fact that she's my mother. Because plenty of women have bad relationships with their mother. It is because my mother has always valued relationships between women. That included an incredibly strong bond with her own mother and an equally bonding one with me.<br />
<br />
I suppose this primary relationship with my mother has led me to seek out and maintain friendships with women from a very young age.<br />
<br />
There is also the real fact that friendships between men and women are always sexualized by spectators. It is always viewed as the precursor to a romantic relationship, rather than an end in and of itself.<br />
<br />
I can go out to dinner with a woman and everything is fine. But the moment I do the same with a man then the whispers begin: "Are they dating? Will they date? Do they have romantic feelings for each other?" This is of course also related to homophobia/ heterosexism: the idea that a woman must always desire a man and anything out of that is just viewed as not being real.<br />
<br />
But it's this pull between knowing the importance of valuing women friendships and being socialized by a patriarchal society to view a heterosexual romantic relationship with a man as the most important relationship I can ever hope to find myself in that tugs at me.<br />
<br />
I will never forget being thirteen years old and having my first boyfriend and isolating myself during the (thankfully short) duration of our relationship. I stopped hanging out with my female friends and suddenly all of my time was dedicated to being a girlfriend.<br />
<br />
I remember the gulf I felt when that relationship ended. Not only because I was dealing with the end of a relationship, but because it finally occurred to me that I had put in jeopardy the true friendships I had. Thankfully, my friends forgave me. But from that lesson I learned to never privilege a relationship with a man over friendships with women.<br />
<br />
Now here I am many years later. And sure, I want to date. I'd even eventually like to get married. But I have to wonder why this concern is pushed on me and not messages to formulate close ties with women?<br />
<br />
Is it because of the continually denied revolutionary power of sisterhood? A fact that I've seen on an individual scale with friends and I've seen on a grand scale as being a member of the largest historically Black sorority.<br />
<br />
As I consume my romantic fiction and romantic comedies and dramas. I have to wonder: do I spend as much time celebrating my friendships with women (the one type of relationship that has sustained me from birth to now) as I do thinking about potential relationships with men? And if not, what can I do to change this?<br />
<br />
<br style="background-color: #fdf9f9; color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;" />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" style="background-color: #fdf9f9; border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); color: #4b4b4b; font-family: 'Open Sans'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.399999618530273px; padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" style="color: #1c2396; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-89554320080764010812014-05-20T11:22:00.000-07:002014-05-20T11:35:19.518-07:00Who Is THE Black Feminist? A Personal Reflection on bell hooks and Beyoncé<br />
<div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img src="http://www.theroot.com/content/dam/theroot/blogs/the_grapevine/2014/05/bell_hooks_calls_beyonc_a_terrorist/bellhooks.jpg.CROP.rtstory-large.jpg" height="224" width="400" /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
</div>
<br />
When I first heard about bell hooks calling Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é</span></span> a terrorist, I was confused.<br />
<br />
I was knee deep in writing one of the seemingly million papers I had due during finals week (I think it's true that the last semester of college is the worst semester of college). I was only marginally using social media and in a very disengaged sort of way so I totally missed everything. And all I could say is: What? What are you talking about? I thought there was a mis-quote or a typo or something. But that was actually what was said.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/rJk0hNROvzs?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
I didn't want to weigh in on anything until I watched the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJk0hNROvzs">two hour video discussion myself</a>. I don't like to make judgments based on secondary sources. But I didn't make time to watch the video until yesterday. However, I did read many, many think pieces about the discussion. And I mean MANY.<br />
<br />
I just have so many complex feelings about this situation that I HAD to write about it.<br />
<br />
Yesterday, after I finally completed the video I had an absolute reflexive reaction which was very different from many of the think pieces I've read. My immediate thought was: <i>Why is everybody getting on bell hooks? What she said wasn't even that bad. In fact, it was pretty accurate except for the poor word choice of "terrorist." </i><br />
<br />
But now I am taking a step back... maybe half a step back and one around kinda in a circle.<br />
<br />
I still don't think that bell hooks' general argument was wrong. It is true that there are aspects of Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é's image that can be said to collude with white patriarchy. It is true that she has created content that can be called anti-feminist. What is perhaps unfair is highlighting </span></span>Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é and not the music industry or the media in general. Or focusing on one individual Black woman instead of the many non-Black women who do the exact same thing and maybe to an even greater degree. But nevertheless, hooks wasn't wrong although "terrorist" was definitely not the word to use. </span></span><br />
<br />
For me, there is NO getting around the fact that I'm a bell hooks stan. Absolutely NO getting around it. That's just me being honest with where I am and my position. I'd argue that there's quite a few Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é stans who have taken to writing about this without acknowledging their ideological position. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">A common fallacy I've read is that this is a generational fight. It is the "old Black feminists" versus the young ones. The internet savvy versus the non-internet savvy. But I find myself being more sympathetic to the so-called "old Black </span></span><span style="line-height: 17px;">feminists</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">" than many of the new ones on this particular issue. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
But again, that's because I've never been a Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é</span></span> stan (although I did really appreciate ***Flawless and her new album in general). I have been a bell hooks stan and a self-identified Black feminist since I was 17 years old.<br />
<br />
I am a pretty voracious reader and yet there's only 3 books that I can say have changed my life: (1) The Holy Bible, (2) The Autobiography of Malcolm X, and (3) Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism by bell hooks.<br />
<br />
Maybe it was timing. At 17 years old, I was in the position to be introduced to Black feminism. I was a freshman in college. My racial consciousness was mature and so the next step was gender consciousness.<br />
<br />
Although I ended up becoming a Gender Studies minor, I was not one at that point. I knew a little something about white feminism which had 100% turned me off feminism entirely and I had no inkling of who bell hooks was. I didn't even know Black feminism was a thing. I thought Black women only cared about race.<br />
<br />
But I found and read <i>Ain't I a Woman</i>, bell hooks' first published book. And my life perspective forever changed. I felt like I had been given the tools to fully understand my own identities and existence. I had the tools to articulate the upset and fear I felt due to sexist oppression. I had the knowledge to better navigate my own reality.<br />
<br />
And I think all of this (the self-empowerment and revolution) can be found in an entertainer. In fact, my words about bell hooks' importance in my life mirror what Janet Mock said about Destiny's Child and Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é</span></span> after bell hooks challenged Bey's Time Magazine cover.<br />
<br />
Fast forward to February of this year: my friend and I decided to co-facilitate a workshop for (predominantly Black) high school girls about healthy self-esteem. What did we use? Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é</span></span>: The Visual Album.<br />
<br />
Our rationale was that Bey would make it easier for us to connect with our audience. Bey would be exciting and familiar to the girls. And we were correct! We used "Flawless," "Pretty Hurts," and "Grown Woman" to highlight different aspects of girls' self esteem.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://mystudentstyle.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/BEYONCE.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://mystudentstyle.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/BEYONCE.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
And here's the real funny part to me now... we handed out a chapter from <a href="http://libcom.org/files/hooks%20-%20Feminism%20is%20for%20Everybody.pdf"><i>Feminism is For Everybody </i>(by bell hooks)</a> at the end. We gave the girls the chapter called "Sisterhood is Still Powerful." I thought it was a good and short introduction to Black feminism through talking about the importance of political and social solidarity among women.<br />
<br />
So clearly, my friend and I made Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é</span></span> and bell hooks coexist that day for a workshop geared towards self esteem for young Black girls.<br />
<br />
But yesterday, when I watched that video conversation I felt like I had to choose. I felt like it was now bell hooks versus Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é</span></span>. And with that mindset I was prepared to choose bell hooks just as others have chosen Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My first reaction is not always the best reaction. And now that I've done some more thinking and I've spoken to other Black feminists I realize that it's not a battle. The contenders aren't bell hooks and </span></span>Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é and one person has to knock out the other. It's not an either or situation. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I think </span></span>while bell hooks herself may have framed it as an either or situation (you either support Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é/anti-feminism or you're a Black feminist/ bell hooks supporter) </span></span>the reality is that it's not and never has been this false dichotomy. It's not that simple.<br />
<br />
We can talk about anti-feminism manifesting itself in negative visual images. That's a real issue and the main point of what bell hooks was discussing. However, what troubled me and gave me a muddle of emotions is the equivalency that if you defend A then you are anti-feminist. If you defend B then you're a feminist. I'm so into bell hooks that I said "okay" well I'm gonna side with you and pretend like I wasn't bopping to "Partition" under 24 hours ago.<br />
<br />
The actual content of bell's argument aside... this is a posturing that makes me uncomfortable. And not only bell hooks is guilty of it. So are some uncritical Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é supporters: you must love </span></span>Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é and recognize her as a revolutionary Black feminist figure</span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17px;"> or you are anti-Black feminist. </span><br />
<br />
It is imposing a hierarchy. Either academia is going to win or pop culture. But in the end Black feminism itself, as a revolutionary vehicle for Black women's revolution, loses.<br />
<br />
I have to be careful because I'm on the academia track. And so I'm somewhat disposed to put academia on a pedestal when it comes to Black feminist theory. I wrote about this earlier in my article <a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/02/black-feminism-and-everyday-living.html">"Black Feminism and Everyday Living."</a><br />
<br />
But I know that's not what Black feminism is all about.<br />
<br />
Within Black feminism there is room for a multiplicity of Black women's voices. There's room for the tenured professors. There's room for the undergrads just beginning to learn feminist theory. There's room for those who have never been to college but care a whole lot about gender equity. There's room for the internet users and the folks who get confused by the internet. There's room for the bloggers and the published authors and the musicians and the actors and the sex workers and the casual social media users. That's Black feminism.<br />
<br />
And for a second I forgot that. And maybe bell hooks did too.<br />
<br />
I think the debate about whether or not Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é is a feminist is vacuous and tired. And at the end of the day it's not the important question to be asking. And so I don't offer any insight into that portion of the discussion.</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What interests me is how we decide who is an authority on Black feminism and how certain standpoints are validated or invalidated. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">bell hooks has written more books than I've had the chance to read (I've probably read about 11 so far) but even I have to admit that her presence and her prolific nature doesn't make her infallible. And that I have to ask myself why my first reaction was to invalidate everybody who disagreed with bell hooks. </span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 17px;">And I think a similar self-analysis is </span></span><span style="line-height: 17px;">warranted</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 17px;"> of those who can't tolerate any critique of </span></span></span>Beyonc<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">é or the image she projects and maintains. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17px;">As I continue to mature in my Black feminist journey I have to become more critical of how I decide who is worthy to be listened to and what perspective is valid. </span><br />
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" onsubmit="window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=1BlackGirlManyWords', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars=yes,width=450,height=420');return true" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-64906738718009985112014-05-18T21:20:00.001-07:002014-06-07T12:49:28.972-07:00Why am I So Nice to "Nice Guys"? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img src="http://veryhilarious.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/nice-guys-friend-zone.jpg" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I never realized how I put myself in debt to "nice guys" until very recently. I find it easy to disregard men who I feel are disrespectful or rude. But I find it extremely difficult to straightforwardly tell a man I am not interested if he is "nice" even if I have absolutely zero romantic interest in him.<br />
<br />
I could say it's all about a fear of male violence. And I'm sure that's part of it (and justifiably so when you hear stories about a teenage girl being stabbed to death by a boy who she rejected for prom) but it's definitely not the totality of the issue.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
For me it has been fundamentally about an internalized sexist attitude I've adopted that makes me believe that I owe my kindness and attentiveness to men who are polite and not out-rightly sexist. At first I thought it was simply about me being an overly nice person myself. But in reality it's a reflection of unresolved internalized misogyny. In any other context it's ridiculous to me that I'd spend my time and energy on something that I am uninterested in. And yet, when it comes to men who are sexually and/or romantically interested in me somehow it seems implausible to be straightforward and say "Thank you, but I am not interested."<br />
<br />
This is both a result of negative experiences I've had where I've showed disinterest and received a very jarring reaction and the "positive" experiences I've had where I pretended to have some kind of vague interest and was "rewarded" by not being called sexist slurs or being threatened by violence (and receiving more of the attention I definitely did not want).<br />
<br />
More than a few times I've had men say that I'm not "stuck up" like other women because I actually respond to them. This isn't really a compliment to me so much as it's a testament to my inability to stand my ground when it comes to men and dating. Also, more than a few times I've had negative experiences with trying to let a man down easily and being called a "bitch" or told that I'm irrational for not being interested in such a "good guy."<br />
<br />
While a man is afforded subjectivity and the ability to choose who he is interested in (based on his personal proclivities... which are often informed by oppressive and irrational ideologies anyway) women are supposed to consent to being chosen by whatever nice enough man comes along first.<br />
<br />
The problem with this is that (like a man) I am an individual with individual thoughts and desires. I am not an algorithm. I don't have a check list. There's not a magical number of how many times a man must compliment me for him to be "nice" and for me to be enamored. And just because a man is nice to me doesn't mean I want to date him!<br />
<br />
I know right, incredible! It's not unlike how a man doesn't decide that he wants to date a woman just because she's nice to him.<br />
<br />
But I've somehow come to believe that I'm in the wrong for being a human being with unique wants and desires and so I try to downplay when I'm not interested in a guy. I try to always put myself in the position to be the one rejected. I can't stand it because I know the tangible costs that exist when women dare to reject men and because I feel guilt tripped into never rejecting a man.<br />
<br />
It's the guilt tripped aspect that confuses me the most. I can understand why I'd be scared of male violence but why am I trapped by the fear of displeasing or disappointing a man? Why do I feel like I owe not only kindness but my time and attention to "nice" men?<br />
<br />
It took me being told that I was in a "relationship" with somebody I never had any intention of being in a relationship with to realize that this is a problem that I need to address.<br />
<br />
And as I've been in the process of ridding myself of internalized misogyny what has helped me is realizing that the "nice guy" is not truly nice. In fact, he is the antithesis of niceness. He is manipulative. He is patriarchal. He has an entitlement complex. And all of this goes into guilt tripping women into doing what they want her to do.<br />
<br />
I do myself no favors by commodifying myself and behaving as if I need to put out something in exchange for niceness or else I am a bitch.<br />
<br />
Men ask for my attention or sexual favors and when I say no their response is that I am being "mean" or "unfair" or "irrational" because they are nice guys. Once I had a guy say: "well you did that with a guy before me so what makes him deserving and not me?" All of this functions to guilt trip me and other women into doing things and entering into relationships they don't necessarily want to be in.<br />
<br />
And as somebody very interested in the feminist concept of "consent" I wonder if the prevailing culture even allows for this as a possibility if when I as a woman do not consent to a man's wishes then I am a bitch and something is wrong with me. If this is so then am I really in the position to give enthusiastic consent for anything from sex to entering a committed relationship? If my no is viewed as invalid anyway.<br />
<br />
The "friend zone" is nefarious. Not for the men who complain that they are in it. But for the women who feel they need to put men there because if they don't then they are bad people. It's nefarious for the women who have to clarify: "I am not interested... but let's be friends!" when they really want to say "I am not interested" with a period at the end.<br />
<br />
Many times I've tried to make men my "friends" because I didn't want any sexual or romantic involvement with them but didn't feel able to fully sever ties. And this has not really allowed me to make men aware of my disinterest so much as it's put me in a weird position where I now owe them attention and kindness because they are my "friend" even while they are clearly not interested in friendship at all and continually demonstrate that fact.<br />
<br />
I had to take a step back from all of this and realize that just because I feel guilt when I do not return the affection of an individual man that my guilt does not mean that I am in the wrong. I am a woman. And that does not mean that I am the general property of men everywhere who decide they have some kind of sexual and/or romantic interest in me. <br />
<br />
It's not an easy task getting rid of the notion that as a woman we are here to appease men. But it's a necessary task. One that takes time and starts with a recognition of how capitulating to so-called "nice guys" is indeed an integral aspect of patriarchy.<br />
<br />
This is a note to myself!<br />
<br />
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" onsubmit="window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=1BlackGirlManyWords', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars=yes,width=450,height=420');return true" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-4299780265543375922014-04-29T09:43:00.000-07:002014-04-29T09:54:27.232-07:00A Donald Sterling Problem or an American Race Problem? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<img height="223" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" width="400" /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<br /></div>
I have been paying attention to the recent scandal surrounding the owner of the LA Clippers: Donald Sterling.<br />
<br />
Of course, his actual comments are interesting along with the fact that his girlfriend is Black and Latina and he seems to be in denial about it. But what's also interesting is that once again, like with Paula Deen, America is captured by an individual white person who says really racist things and kind of conveniently overlooks their actually racist acts.<br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
Sure, Paula Deen said some racist things. But I was far more concerned with her racist acts such as under-paying and mistreating her Black staff. To me that's a lot more important than what she had to say about Black people.<br />
<br />
Likewise, Donald Sterling had been known to be a perpetrator of housing discrimination. But not many people cared about that. But once he said no Black people at his games... that was when everybody got mad! Or at least pretended to.<br />
<br />
Why is that?<br />
<br />
America is a lot more concerned with appearing post-racial than actually being post-racial. Time and time again racist acts are ignored and swept under the rug. But every once in awhile a white person will be publicly dragged for saying something very racist.<br />
<br />
That's the unspoken rule in American race relations: you can be racist but don't sound racist. You can treat people of color horribly, but you can't verbally express that you want to treat them horribly. That is crossing the line in America. This isn't 1965 anymore.<br />
<br />
So every once in awhile a high profile white person forgets that we're in "post-racial" America and that saying racist things is not okay and they become the white guilt scapegoat for the season. The white liberals condemn them and the white conservatives halfheartedly defend them on the basis of "free speech" and whatever other excuse. And white America sighs and says, look, we're not racist!<br />
<br />
Meanwhile Black players are still akin to slaves within an elaborate and lucrative plantation system. Meanwhile Black people in general are facing exacerbated economic barriers due to race so that they can't be at many of these games anyway, even if they wanted to. Meanwhile there are Black and Latino families being denied housing. Meanwhile, in Paula Deen's case, Black workers are still being under-paid and unacknowledged for the recipes they created.<br />
<br />
I'd like to see this most recent incident transform in a larger call for equity for Black players and racial inequity in general. This isn't just about Donald Sterling. In fact, I don't even think it's mostly about Donald Sterling. At least not for a person who is concerned about racism in a genuine sense, and not just cosmetically.<br />
<br />
It's about America. It's about the persistence of racism.<br />
<br />
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" onsubmit="window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=1BlackGirlManyWords', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars=yes,width=450,height=420');return true" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7800955510067401360.post-901736121056584912014-04-24T01:17:00.000-07:002014-06-07T12:49:48.049-07:00Lupita Nyong'o is "The Most Beautiful Woman" & What Does This Mean for Dark Skinned Girls? <div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Lupita Nyong'o, People's Most Beautiful" src="http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/2014323/rs_634x858-140423055930-634.Lupita-Nyongo-JR1-42314.jpg" height="400" width="295" /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Lupita Nyong'o was recently named the "Most Beautiful Woman" by <i>People</i> magazine. She is the third Black woman to hold this title after Halle Berry and <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 24px;">Beyoncé</span>. However, Lupita's win is particularly noteworthy because she is dark-skinned with short, natural hair. In that sense, she is a first.</div>
<a name='more'></a> Eurocentric beauty standards do not work to marginalize all Black women equally. Lighter-skinned Black women with long, straight hair are viewed as being more "beautiful" than their darker-skinned, natural haired sisters. This is related to the pervasiveness of colorism.<br />
<br />
So I am excited that Lupita was chosen! I am excited that dark skinned girls will be able to see that somebody who has their same skin complexion was selected as the world's most beautiful woman! I am happy that Lupita is getting the shine she deserves for being absolutely stunning and perfect.<br />
<br />
However, I also realize that this honor is not exactly revising beauty standards so much as it is allowing for an exception. Lupita is Hollywood's current token. And she is the perfect candidate. She is truly talented and graceful and humble. Moreover, she is new. Her back-story is awe-inspiring and every one of her victories seems to be a personal victory for everyone who watches.<br />
<br />
I also believe that unfortunately, Lupita's current tokenization has much to do with the movie role which made her famous. Lupita played the part of an incredibly abused and dehumanized slave. She was the object of continuous sexual and physical assault and the object of obsession of a diabolical white male slave owner and his irrationally jealous wife.<br />
<br />
This role raised feelings of pity (and white guilt) surrounding Patsey and slavery in general. In fact, I'd argue that the movie would have lost much of its power without such a focus on Patsey since Solomon Northup was not the victim of such visceral abuse. And that is what people want from slave movies: visceral abuse. Would it have won any Oscars without Lupita's performance?<br />
<br />
This movie role also raised pity for Lupita herself. This fact, compounded with pervasive ideas of "poor Africans" who require saving by the West, leads to Lupita being the perfect person for Hollywood to hold up as the new IT-girl.<br />
<br />
And I am enjoying Lupita's shine. But not without my reservations. And these reservations of course have nothing to do with Lupita herself, but everything to do with the way in which white supremacy maintains itself by utilizing tokens to give the appearance of fairness and equity.<br />
<br />
Is Hollywood really challenging racist beauty standards? Or any beauty standards at all? Or is it maintaining the status quo and welcoming Lupita in as an anomaly?<br />
<br />
Any dark-skinned girl knows that just because an individual may find us physically or sexually attractive doesn't mean that they are anti-colorist or anti-racist. That's why comments like "you're pretty for a dark-skinned girl" are so common. An individual dark-skinned Black girl can always be recognized as beautiful. But it must be done so by positing her as an exception.<br />
<br />
I believe there is no difference for a white-dominated magazine or Hollywood in general.<br />
<br />
And I cannot trust a magazine or industry predicated on anti-Blackness 364 days out of the year to suddenly fundamentally change their behavior now that Lupita has been named as the world's most beautiful woman.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
I will be a believer when I am able to pick up a magazine that has racial and ethnic diversity without looking directly for Essence or Jet. I'll be a believer when I start to see dark-skinned women cast in movie roles where they are neither evil and unwanted or the victims of vicious sexist and racist violence.<br />
<br />
I'll believe it when women who look like Lupita are no longer the anomaly.<br />
<br />
I have a complex relationship with this issue because on one hand I do not want to be defined by my beauty or absence of it. I believe that is one facet of the sexist oppression of women. However, I am also invested in affirming the beauty of dark-skinned women.<br />
<br />
But I know that I must remain vigilant so that honors such as this do not make me too comfortable.<br />
<br />
So I celebrate this. But I also demand more.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: large;">If you enjoyed this post also check out: </span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br /></b></div>
<br />
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/03/the-lupita-nyongo-experience-thoughts.html" style="color: #47b430; font-family: 'Allerta Stencil'; font-size: 24px; text-decoration: none;">The Lupita Nyong'o Experience: Thoughts on Learning How to Love Black Womanhood</a></li>
<li><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/02/lets-talk-about-colorism-beyond-what.html" style="color: #47b430; font-family: 'Allerta Stencil'; font-size: 24px; text-decoration: none;">Let's Talk About Colorism (Beyond What Men Think & My Self Esteem)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://oneblackgirlmanywords.blogspot.com/2014/03/black-girl-bravado-because-there-is-no.html" style="color: #47b430; font-family: 'Allerta Stencil'; font-size: 24px; text-decoration: none;">Black Girl Bravado (Because There is No Patriarchalized Femininity For Us)</a></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<form action="http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify" method="post" onsubmit="window.open('http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailverify?uri=1BlackGirlManyWords', 'popupwindow', 'scrollbars=yes,width=450,height=420');return true" style="border: 2px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); padding: 3px; text-align: center;" target="popupwindow">
<b><i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><span style="color: #6aa84f;">Want new posts delivered directly to your email?</span></span></i></b><br />
Enter your email address here:<br />
<input name="email" style="width: 140px;" type="text" /><br />
<input type="submit" value="Subscribe" /><br />
Delivered by <a href="http://feedburner.google.com/" target="_blank">FeedBurner</a></form>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05134456178795377262noreply@blogger.com6